Crazy Ramblings of a Mother of Four

Writing This Instead of Doing Homework!

2011-07-20T02:53:00.001-05:00

I really should be writing two discussion posts right now – but I can’t. I really think that I needed to get this out “there.”

Isaac is high functioning Autistic. I have known that there was something “off” about Isaac ever since he was about 6 months old but did not get the official diagnosis until he was 3. We really won’t know for a few more years if he can be considered Asperger’s or not. There is almost a grieving process that every parent with a child who is Autistic goes through. Just the understanding that your child will never have the same life as a “normal” child. It is rough. Then it comes down to pulling up your boot straps and just dealing it. The diagnosis. The therapies. The meltdowns. The school system. Dealing with Autism. I really do believe that mothers (and fathers) with children who are autistic are some of the strongest, faithful, full of life, individuals that there are. They have to be. Those parents become the best advocators for their child. We advocate for everything, their healthcare, their education, their activities. We also become educators. At times we educate family and friends about autism. We educate their teachers on the best way reach our specific child, because Autism looks different for every child. We even educate their doctors, because we know our children best.

Now Isaac is considered high functioning Autistic. That means that his symptoms are pretty mild and with the right therapy chances are very good that he will lead a “normal” life. There are some things that he will always struggle with but at this point we really don’t know what those even are. We were told by the child psychologist that diagnosed him, that there is even the chance that with the right therapy Isaac could develop enough coping skills to deal with his symptoms. With his last educational screening, he actually tested well enough to not require services within the Utah school district. (Now this is another story in itself because they only spend 2 hours a day, 2 days a week with him for 6 week!) On one hand, I am thrilled because that means that the therapy is working and he does have certain coping skills. On the other hand, well, let’s just see how he does when enters Kindergarten and is in school 5 days a week, 6 hours a day!

This is where I struggle. He is high functioning. According to Utah state educational standards, he does not need services. This means that he will go a whole year without speech therapy, helping with the socially acceptable back and forth of communication. He will go a whole year without occupational therapy, helping him with things like making friends (currently he does really good at parallel play, but does not make friends well) or sharing, or turn taking, or even how to deal with emotions.

There are times that he does things that I feel I need to explain the fact that he is Autistic. For example, we were at VBS last night (at a church that we had been to exactly one time) and I was standing at the back with him. It was towards the end, and there just happened to be a lull in the activity. That was when Isaac informed me (and the rest of the auditorium as well) “Um, I gotta poop!” Well I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go! Other times when he is at the park and sees something different, he just asks. This is fine most of the time, I mean he is only 4, but there are times when it can get pretty embarrassing. Basically, we think it – Isaac just says is. There is no filter. He does not understand most “social rules.” This might be an area that he will always deal with no matter the coping skills that he develops.

I guess it’s the fact that I see the need to explain his “social awkwardness.” I’m not always going to be there to “smooth” things over if need be. I might not always be there to “save” the lizard because he doesn’t understand the need to be gentle, before he literally squeezes the life out of it (totally devastating the little kid that took all afternoon to catch said lizard).

I think all of the time about his life as a high school student. Will he be able to be the football linebacker that I think he so perfectly could be? I mean he has this totally cool scar on his upper lip that portrays a much tougher exterior than he really is. Perfect for a linebacker! Will he be able to wear a school uniform, if necessary, (especially one with buttons?) He will approach a total stranger at the grocery store to get them to change their shirt – just because it has buttons on it.

Now as hard as this can be, a much as I want to pull my hair out at times, I would not trade it for anything! I cannot even picture what Isaac would look like without this diagnosis. I love my son and would walk to the ends of the earth for him. I want to always be there for him. I want to shield him all the looks, comments, pain, and whatever else negative that he might have to deal with. Not just for him, but for all my kids. I don’t want them to have to experience the negative that this world just is. I want them to be happy and joyful and positive. I guess that starts with my attitude and the way they see me deal with and interact with the world.

Guess I have my work cut out for me.

This just might be more info than you ever wanted about my life!

2011-03-22T10:35:00.000-05:00

I am from a broken family. Take that as you will, but in today’s society it seem that you would find more from a broken family than not. But what exactly does that mean? In my case, my parents divorced when I was little, maybe 2? Right after that both of my parents remarried to people that they are still currently married to. After a chain of events that I don’t think I will ever truly understand, I ended up in the permanent guardianship of my mother and her husband. Even though I was never formally adopted, I accepted my mother’s new husband as my father, better yet, he even accepted me as his daughter. He is and has been, my Daddy. Somewhere in there, my birth father felt that it would be best for me, if there was no contact between us. As harsh as all this sounds, I can accept that decision now. I know the circumstances in which that decision was made and I probably would have made the same one.

I grew up always questioning just who my father was. I would wonder if he thought about me, if my sisters thought about me. With the invention of the internet, I found myself, every few months, doing a web search about him. I would find different information here and there, so I had pieced together a little snippet of his life, but I never knew anything concrete. A few years ago, we moved to the Midwest. It was at that point that I realized that my father and his family lived pretty close (only 4 hours away to be exact). For 3 years I struggled with the decision to reach out to my father through Facebook of all things!

Let’s backtrack a bit here. I have no doubt that my family loves me. I truly love them all too. If I can be honest, and this is where it gets hard for me, I had a rough upbringing. It was not always roses and puppy dogs. There was a lot of screaming, slamming, slapping, tears, harsh words, frustrations, and walking on egg shells. Now, as a 33 year old adult, I struggle with my past. I struggle with the relationship between me and my parents.

If I can get down to the meat of it, it seems as if I have never lived up to what my mother saw for me or expected of me. What that is – I don’t know. I just know that I am a disappointment to her. My actions are a disappointment. This is a hard pill for me to swallow because I happen to think that I have done pretty good for myself. I could go and list all of the reasons why I think that I am not a disappointment, but then that would bring me right back to the purpose of this right now.

I have always thought that I have to prove something – that I needed to prove myself. Short of wearing a sign around my neck that says “Please love me now, this is why I deserve it: _______” and then listing all of my accomplishments, all of the reasons that I felt I was worthy of love or acceptance.

Being a mother yourself teaches you a lot. Unconditional love is something that parents just have for their children. No matter what my kids do, they will never, ever, in a million years, do something that will make me not love them, or not accept them. Now none of my 4 are teenagers yet... J I guess that I have just heard “I only say this” or “I only do this” “Because I Love You”, followed by a list of things that I have done wrong, or decisions that I have made that my mother feels are wrong. Long ago I have learned to just leave certain things out in conversations or not even bring things up or even, unfortunately, twist things so that I’m not “in the wrong”. Well then when the “truth” came out – things would just blow up even bigger.

So where does that leave me now? It has been a long hard road, but I am not going to apologize for who I am, what I do, decisions that I make that I feel are best for me and my family. I am who I am. You can either take me or leave me, but I will not compromise who I am for anyone. Even family. Now I do need to say that this is all subject to God and how he would like to change me. That I am open too.

Back to the point of this. About 10 months ago I made the decision to send a letter, via Facebook, to my birth father and my two half-sisters. At that the time I was in the hospital for an extended period (8 days) for some testing related to my seizures. The reason that I sent the letters was because I needed closure. I had a picture in my head of my birth father telling me that he had his own family now – and I didn’t fit into that. I wanted to just know that for sure. To my absolute delight things have turned out so much better. 30 years ago, things were what they were, we cannot go back and change the past. We can move forward from here. Questions have been asked and answered and we are learning what it is to be a family now. It is good. In spite of all.

Now those that are close to me and know a little about my situation with my “other” family. Things are not good. Things have not been good for a while. I can look back and think that I am pretty lucky because instead of not having any family support, now that I am back in contact with my dad and that side of my family, I do have the family support that I have always wanted. If I can be honest, I probably have more support NOW than I ever did. Whether or not that is true doesn’t matter but it is my perception of reality.

What is this whole point? I really don’t know. I guess I again felt the need to explain myself, justify my actions. But more than that, I think that it is important to understand your roots. In my field, I see history repeating itself all the time. I do not want history to repeat itself in my family. I am going to fight tooth and nail for a successful family. I want my kids to know that no matter what decisions they make, I will always love them and support them. Now I also hope that I am raising them in a way that spurs them one to make successful decisions for their life. I also hope that I am showing them that they can come to us with anything. Even things that we don’t necessary “like”. I want them to know that we are here to talk to them about anything. Even the uncomfortable things. All things that I don’t feel like I had. I don’t want my kids to have this picture of me in their head that makes them want to avoid me. I want to be better. Is that wrong? I sure hope not.

Bottom line. Life is good right now. I am happy. My kids are happy. We are happy.

I HATE drama!

2011-03-06T22:25:00.000-06:00

I am in the middle of writing a paper right now, but just got an email that kinda ticked me off. Since I can't vent on Facebook (cause I'm not really like that) - I guess I'll vent here.

All I have to say is it is because of people/attitudes/feelings like what I just read, that we left the church we were going to and then eventually Illinois.

Don't be surprised if my Facebook friends list is decreased by A LOT over the next few days!

GEEEERRRRR. There goes my good night! Well other than Mayah puking everywhere!

2011-03-03T14:34:00.000-06:00

So much has happened since my last post! We are now residence of Utah! It was a long time coming. We officially made the decision to move back West back in June of 2010. In July I was reunited with my birth father and that side of the family – it was very hard for me to then accept moving away since they lived so close and things are really great with them. We have both made decision to see each other AND we have a Video camera so that we can keep them updated on the kids.

The Kids – Well E started his first day at his new school today. He now attends Dixie Sun Elementary. The different thing about this school is that it is a dual immersion school. Meaning that he will be learning in both English and Spanish! This school also has a strong music program. I had read a few years ago about a college in Southern California that was facing being closed because it had an 85% dropout rate. They did some research and changed only one thing on their admissions requirements and that was to require that every student plays a musical instrument. They then also added a ton of practice rooms and poured a great deal of money into their Music program. Within 3 years – the dropout rate then moved to 2%! Studies show that students that play a musical instrument have more discipline, better study skills, and are just overall more well-rounded students. I am excited about the opportunities that E will have here at this new school and our other 3 as well!

We have not started I at his school yet. I still need to find his IEP and then get him registered at his school. Right now he is enjoying playing with his brothers and sister. A is a bit bummed because he is not eligible for the preschool program at this time. His teacher sent him to Utah with a school bag. He has enough stuff in there to last for a long time! I just need to find the time to sit down and do it with him.

M is such a little girl! I love her so much! She loves dresses and everything pink! If it is not pink or purple she probably won’t pick it up J She loves her new room. It is all pink and purple and Tinker Bell. She knows most of her colors – well only if they are shades of Pink and Purple. No really she is doing really good counting and with her alphabet, her older brothers are teaching her good!

Our new house is really great. David likes it so much better than our house in Il. I like it too – although I do think that I will like it much better when we are all moved in. I am still in the middle of my school quarter so I can’t help as much as I would really like to. I only have 2 ½ weeks left and then I have a 3 week vacation! The kids have already met new friends here in the complex where we live. It helps that we are right next to the play area! We were asked by one of our neighbors if we were LDS – when we replied “No” her response was “Well that’s okay”. Really didn’t know how to take that!

We are excited to look for a new church here in this area. It has been a long time since we have had a church home and it is about time! I think that we have a few that we are going to check out within the next few weeks.

I - right after his nap
Think he is still tired?

David starts his job at the Walmart distribution center on the 15^th of this month. That means 4 nights a week I will be sleeping alone. Not looking forward to that much at all. I am just happy that he does have weekends off! We also need to decide if I am going to get a job or if David will get a second job. I am just not sure how easily I will be able to get my internship hours, work, and do School work. It will all work out in the end- this I am sure of!

Well I think that is about all right now. I just woke up from his nap and is now falling asleep on the couch. Too cute! I will update more (with pictures of our house) later.

Cheers!

T minus 57 hours!

2011-02-22T21:20:00.000-06:00

Well just about 57 hours from now we will be loading the kids up in the van with their backpacks full of toys, securing the lock on the back of the 26 foot rental truck, and handing our keys over to the new owners of our house. If you could only see my house right now! It really does not look like we are anywhere near ready to move. Well that is until you open up the drawers in the bathroom or the cupboards in the kitchen. They would be empty. Their contents packed in one of several dozen boxes stacked around the house. Regardless of what we already have packed - we still have much MUCH more to go.

We had grand plans for this past weekend and the beginning of this week. Plans that slowly began to spiral out of control as soon as Aidan began throwing up at about 9pm Saturday night. If that wasn't enough - Isaac began no less than 3 hours later. For the rest of Sunday and most of Monday the brothers hardly moved from the couch. It was around 6pm Monday night that we started to breath a bit easier - thinking that just the brothers were to suffer with the icky stomach bug. We were wrong. Shortly after 6pm Ethan began - then by Midnight - David and Mayah joined the ranks of the sick ones. The last place that I wanted to be was at home taking care of the sick ones. So around 5am (after cleaning Mayah up for the 3rd time or so) I got ready to work. Hoping to escape most of the yuckies. As much as David wanted me to stay home and help him - I wanted to be anywhere but in the same house of blah! (In the back of my mind I also thought of the many times that David has gone to work leaving me to tend after myself and a houseful of sicko's!) I went to work and was there most of the day - So far I have seem to escape this - Quick knock on a piece of wood for me!

I am now spending my evening doing laundry - We certainly piled it up the past 4 days! I am also supposed to be finishing up my homework for this week - I have already written a 4 page paper - now I just need to write a discussion post (well 4 of them) and do some responses. What I did do though - was take all the pictures and stuff off of the walls. At least it is "sorta" making the house look a bit like we are moving!

I am so hoping that everyone is on the mends and by tomorrow everyone will be healthy again and able bodied to grab a box, fill it, and repeat!

And heres hoping that I am not getting what everyone else had!

So much to do - So little time

2011-02-16T22:48:00.000-06:00

We are now in the "countdown" mode. The kids keep asking if today will be their last day of school. They are going to miss their friends and I keep telling them that they will make new ones. I wish I knew what was going on in their heads enough to really understand how this move is effecting them - if at all. Mayah keeps talking about moving to UTAH and her pink house - at least she will have a Pink bedroom with Hot Pink sheets and Tinker-bell window coverings. She is such a girl!

We are still in discussions with the brother in regards to them sharing a room or not. I am not sure how they would do separated. I think that they would sleep better - they wouldn't wake each other up - or would they? They could still go into the others room.... We will cross that bridge when we get there I guess. I mean we will finally have the room for them each to have their own room AND a play room! So excited! We will see how it goes.

After this move I will be happy if I never see a box again! I was hoping that the move cross country here would be the last - but it looks like the Man upstairs has other plans for us. Things were so much different at that time. The twins were 1 year old exactly the day we pulled out of Vegas, and I was pregnant with another set of twins. This time - I am not pregnant! But I am ~~knee deep~~ neck deep in my Masters Program. We will see if this move can sustain my 4.0. I'm not holding my breath - but anything is possible!

It is amazing how much stuff we have to move with the kids. We have so much "stuff". We have weeded a bunch out in the past few months and will continue up until the day we move I do believe! There are times that I wish we didn't have all this "stuff" - how easy would it be to just give it all away and live with just what we "need". Not - gee this makes life easier - but really need, to actually sustain ourselves. I want to teach my kids that life is not about STUFF but the quality of relationships that we surround ourselves with. Its a hard concept to deliver unless you are actually living it. I think that Utah will be a big turning point in our lives.

Well now that I have procrastinated long enough - time to get back to my homework. On tonights agenda - Can you really assess Intelligence?

And Here We Go

2011-02-14T18:15:00.002-06:00

Well - in 11 days we are supposed to be packing up our life here in St. Louis and moving West - to St. George, Utah. We will be going from the 1st most dangerous place to live in the US to the number 18 safest place to live. St. George is also noted to be a faster growing area than Vegas. What does that matter to us? Well - it means that there should be good job opportunities for both David and I. We are also moving closer to David's family. This will be a good thing. We have been here for 3 (almost 4) years and it has been hard on us. We have found some amazing babysitters along the way - but they do cost money. With the amount of kids that we have - the babysitter ends up being more expensive than the actual night out. It will be nice to have family to watch the kiddos every once in a while so that we can go out.

This move is also bitter sweet. In August I reached out to my Birth Father who I hadn't seen in some 25+ years. I also have two half-sisters and a step mother, all of whom I have met before - it just has been a lot of years. Things have turned out so much better than I have even wanted. It is hard for me to really explain how much this means to me. There has been so much going on with my own family (when isn't there) that this has been so awesome and a welcome relief.

We are excited about what the future has to hold for us. We are looking forward to a sense of "starting over". I am looking forward to beginning my career in the Counseling world. I am looking forward to taking up hiking and camping and all the outdoors stuff that we will be able to now.

Hello again

2009-01-02T23:54:00.002-06:00

Wow - 2 days in a row - even I'm impressed now! Today was a productive day - I just got done cleaning the kitchen floor. I used a swifter wet jet. We decided to try one of these now since the kitchen, hall and both boys rooms are all hard wood floors. I like it. Now I do have to say that the only reason that I even had to clean the floor was because I spilled David's soda all over the floor as soon as we walked in the house after walking in the door.

We found out that Christmas Eve a pipe burst at the school, flooding it. They were able to get the computers up off the ground, but we are still left with a stinky mess to clean up. Fun.

Ethan is learning how to use the computer. He is playing games in Playhouse Disney. He now just wants to sit in front of the computer all day long and "play". It is kinda fun watching him on the computer though. Just another example of my baby growing up.

We went over to Ward and Debbie's house and saw friends from Havasu (well they don't live in Havasu any more - they now live in Williams, AZ) - Dick and Bev Allen and their daughter Debbie were passing through town and stopped at Debbie and Wards for the night. When they pulled in the discovered that their motor home no longer went in reverse! They might be staying longer than just a night.......

Tonight my friend Abby and I are going to see a movie - okay - we just went and saw a movie. (Yes, I started this post before we left and am finishing it now that I am back). I do have to say that it was one of the best movies that I have seen in a long time. I guess that I am a sucker for a good love story too. We saw Twilight. I am now off to read the first book in the series. I am afraid though, that if I start the book tonight - sleep will not be had. I will tell myself - just the first chapter.......

Well my friends - my book, my pillow, and my PJ's are all calling.

I will catch up will you all later.

Hope your Friday was as exciting as mine.

Happy New Year -- Here's To 2009!

2009-01-01T12:27:00.006-06:00

I am looking forward to all that 2009 is going to bring to our family! I do believe that 2009 can only be better than 2008! I am so excited to see what God is going to do in our lives and in our family. I am watching our babies grow into little boys and a young man. I have a little girl that I never imagined I would have. Every day that I look into her face, I am filled with a joy that I just can't explain. It is so different than with the boys. There is just a different connection with her.

There are so many different things that I would like to do in the New Year. Isn't that always how it starts out - we make a list of things that we want to do in at the beginning of the year and then within a few weeks, maybe a month, even a few days we break these "resolutions". I read a book growing up "21 Days to Make or Brake A Habit", according to this book that's all it takes - 21 days. It worked for me. In 21 days - I quit biting my nails. So according to this book, if we can make it just to the 21st of January - we are golden. I guess we will see.

One of the things that I would like to do more of in 2009 would be to Blog more. Not just because it is "one more thing to do", but it is because it is a way that I can keep in contact with family and friends that we don't get to see all the time and those that I "met" while on bedrest with Mayah and while pregnant with the twins. One of the ways that I am going to *try* to do that is with the Thursday Thirteen.

It just works out perfectly that the beginning of the new year is a Thursday! Works for me! This Thursday I will list the 13 highlights of 2008 - maybe not the best or greatest things but the things that made 2008 what it was (in no particular order).

1. The birth of Mayah. Our princess.

2. I graduated with my BA at the top of my class. Summa Cum Laude. Go Shannon!

3. We moved into a house that is perfect for us right now - minus one bathroom, but a HUGE backyard!!!

4. Ethan started kindergarten and is doing really well. He is reading and writing and loving school.

5. David is starting on a new adventure with his career and it is not with Starbucks. Scary but exciting at the same time. For the first time in 17 years he has been unemployed for more than a month. Scary.

6. Faith has never been more real to us than it has been this year. We have had to rely on God more than ever before.

7. We thought we were in a place where God wanted us, and watched our dream fall apart in front of our eyes. We cried. We screamed. We mourned. We were angry for a while. We questioned God, we questioned ourselves, we are seeking, we are knocking, we are waiting upon the Lord. We are not, we will not, we refuse to become bitter.

8. I started work in August. I didn't realize that I would enjoy as much as I do. I don't know if it is because I am out of the house now, maybe because I spent so much time time inside - on bedrest????

9. Isaac was diagnosed with Asthma. Not the best news, but now we are prepared and doing preventative treatments, and are can keep an eye on him just in case. We also learned that Aidan has an appetite for wood. Who knew? At least it is low in calories right? :)

10. Both of our parents come out to visit us - Davids parents came out in February and mine in April. We were then able to make a trip to Utah/Havasu/Vegas in July - August.

11. Ward and Debbie moved to IL! Yeah! It was a long time coming and it finally happened. We were wondering, I am sure that they were wondering too.

12. I had to stick myself with numerous needles numerous times a day for a short time during the beginning of the year, all while on 23 weeks of bedrest. This was all to keep me pregnant. I am so glad that this is over and that I will never have to do that again! I had to get over my fear of needles to do that. There were so many things that I had to do this pregnancy that I didn't with the boys. But it also meant the delivery of a perfect little addition to our family - the completion to our family.

13. We have received more blessings in more ways than we would have every thought possible in 2008. Just when I though that all hope was lost I would turn around and the answer would hit me in the face - I would then feel so stupid for even doubting that God wouldn't come through for us. We are believing God that this next year we will be able to "Pay It Forward" double - even triple.

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND A BLESSED ONE TO YOU ALL

UGH!

2008-11-16T19:18:00.002-06:00

So I got this whole new fancy look for my blog - And when I added it - Guess what??? I lost my whole Blog Roll - I am lost! I have no clue where to go to visit my old blogs. Lesson #1 Keep blog rolls somewhere other than on your blog!

Its been way to long and time for another update - I am working on it!! Gee life with 4 kids is busy! Especially with 3 of them 2 and under!

Short version in case you can't wait - :)

Ethan - doing GREAT in school - loving it! He can read most short words and can write a bit too! He is really excelling at Math - addition and subtraction are just coming really easy for him.

Aidan - Oh man! He is by far more vocal than Isaac - He is talking a bunch now. He loves to undress himself and does it every chance he gets! He also LOVES to take his shoes and socks off in the car - as soon as we get in. Makes these cold snowy days very hard and frustrating! (Ok - so it has only snowed once - well can you call flurries snow???)

Isaac - Well he was in the hospital for a few days at the end of October for pneumonia and while in the hospital they diagnosed him with Asthma. We are still trying to get his coughing under control. It is mainly quite during the day but it acts up at night or if he has been playing hard (running around) or crying. We are still operating under the "Orange zone" of his Asthma action plan. We will be going back to the Dr this will though cause he just started with a runny nose tonight - Something we were told to watch for and to get him in to the Dr ASAP if his cough wasn't controlled.

Mayah - Almost 7 months! Can't believe it! She is too cute. Loves to laugh and suck her toes. When I change her diaper - I have to PRY her toes out of her mouth when I am done. She will masterfully pull off her socks to get to her toes. She can even unsnap buttons if they stand in the way of her toes. At this point I do believe that she prefers he big toe to her thumb!

David - Still with Starbucks - Until Friday - We think. In December he will start with a new company called 4 Preservation. Awesome opportunity for us.

Me - Going Crazy! Well not really but I do believe that I will be starting my Masters in January.

Okay - Well I have a kitchen that desperately needs to be cleaned!

So if you were on my blog roll and what to stay on it - comment me. If you don't it might be a while till I get around to finding you again and put you back on. If you weren't on it but want to be - you can comment me too. Make me feel special! :)

Please forgive me.......

2008-09-22T08:28:00.004-05:00

I am back. I have been gone for a while. I have had many health things that I have been dealing with in the past few months. I think that I am FINALLY on the up swing of that, although I am still waiting for a EEG and another MRI to be done. I have been switched from back and forth from so many medications in the past month and I think that we have finally found the right combo that is getting things under control, and the side effects are finally lessening to the point where I can deal with them. The really sad part in all of this is that I had to stop breastfeeding Mayah. It was heartbreaking for me but what was best for her.

Highlights from the past few months that I hope to update soon on - with pictures of course. Well I hope so. Our camera is broken (so if anyone would like to donate one to the Woolf family cause - okay totally joking...............) BUT our friend Tyler is in town before he ships off to boot camp in a few weeks and he takes FABULOUS pictures (remember May of 2007??) and is planning a family photo shoot sometime in the next few weeks......

I turned the BIG 31!!!!!!!

Ethan (our oldest) turned 5, August 2nd AND started kindergarten. He is already blending letters and can read 3 letter words - he can read most of the Dr Seuss books.

The brothers turned 2!!!!!!!!! I can not believe it. It seems like it was just yesterday when they were in the NICU so tiny eating through G tubes. Now they love to feed themselves and feed each other. Here is the conversation that I had with Aidan just the other day:

Aidan: "nummies?"

Me: "okay just a minute - I am making it"

Aidan: "oh what?"

Me: "Macaroni and Cheese"

Aidan: "Um Don't think so - not tonight"

Me: "Well that's what I am making and that's what you will eat"

Aidan: "Um drink juice eat orange"

Me: "no you will eat Macaroni and cheese"

Aidan: "I cry"

Me: "Then you will sit in the corner until you are done"

Aidan: "k" he then went to the corner - cried for about 2 minutes and then came back

Aidan: "Macaroni and Cheese"

OH BOY - do you think that I am in for it with that one or what???

Mayah is 5 months old today!!!!!!! I can not believe that one. I love her so much - I can not believe that I thought that I didn't want a girl or that I wouldn't bond with a girl easily.

David works for Starbucks and is at one of the stores that will be closing. His store will be closed by November 1. He will not find out if he has a job until the last day that the store is open. Nice huh?

Our rent is up at the end of the month. We had no idea what we were going to do. It looks like there is a house that if David likes the inside of it, a friend will buy it and then rent it out to us. We could do a long term lease with a option to buy. It has 4 bedrooms 2 stories 2 bathrooms and a den a 2 car detached garage and a full basement that we could eventually convert to a whole living area for the boys when they get bigger. It is within walking distance - like 3 minutes - from a HUGE park and a community pool and the high school - a good high school. Although I am teaching at a private Christian school that my kids will more that likely all go to.

I have a job. I am teaching and I LOVE it. Who knew that I would love it this much and that I would be as good at it as I actually am. I now think that I will be getting my Masters in School Administration.

OH and here is the biggest thing, I am not sure if I mentioned that I am a official college graduate!!! I received my diploma in the mail and here is what it says:

SHANNON WOOLF
THE DEGREE OF
BACHELOR OF ARTS
PSYCHOLOGY
SUMMA CUM LAUDE

Those 3 little words under Psychology - Summa Cum Laude - means with the greatest honor. Each college has a different way of awarding this honor. Some colleges give this for a GPA higher than a 3.85, some for a certain number of AP classes, well my college gives it only to the top 1% of the graduating class. Here is the kicker. My school is a small private Christian school. My graduating class was 300. That means that only 3 of us got this honor. By the way - my GPA was a 4.13. Now I stared my college education when I was pregnant with Ethan and I ended it 2 weeks after Mayah was born - just 4 months before Ethan turned 5. So I attended college had 4 kids and still managed to get a 4.13 GPA. I am kinda proud of myself. Oh in that time frame I was also diagnosed with Epilepsy.

Okay well the brothers just woke up from their nap so I got to go get them before they jump out of their cribs - and I am not joking about that one.

PS - I had a dream last night that my parents and brother came out to visit us. It was awesome. I miss them. Maybe it could come true........................... (lets see if they read this :)

Say a Prayer

2008-07-22T10:43:00.002-05:00

Can we all please say a prayer for a friend and her daughter.

Last night we got word that her daughter was just diagnoised with Stage 4 neuroblastoma. Her and her family can use all of the prayers that she can get right now. We serve a BIG God who holds us all in the palm of His hands.

If anyone would like to donate to gas cards or meal cards I am collecting donations through PayPal. Please contact me at my e-mail address. shannonwoolf (at) gmail (dot) com.

Missing Them!!

2008-07-12T11:05:00.002-05:00

Yesterday we said Goodbye to 1/2 of our family! David, Ethan, and Aidan headed to Utah to spend some time with his family. Isaac, Mayah and I stayed behind. Here are some pictures of them at the airport and then a picture of Isaac and Mayah missing their brothers and Daddy!

Today I laugh

2008-07-05T08:47:00.000-05:00

I am laughing again. I am no longer crying every time I turn around. I am no longer feeling guilty for feeling like I don’t love my children enough. Since Mayah’s birth I have been dealing with emotions and feelings that I am not used to. The stark contradiction between what my heart and inner most being knows and what my mind and body feels. At first I just thought that that I was dealing with normal “baby blues”, the adaptation of the change of hormones in my body. There were days when tears seemed to flow for hours just to start up again minutes later. Getting out of bed in the morning seemed like a feat that was too great to handle. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I always bounced back after the birth of my other kids. Ethan was my first and even though Charmin commercials brought me to tears more than once, I bounced back. After the brothers were born I think that I stayed strong just because I HAD to, they were so small and needed their mother to fight for them. Once they were home I was just so happy to have my whole family together. After this birth, after this pregnancy, it was like things didn’t just fall into place like before. Getting into a routine seemed like an impossible feat. I was told that it could take more time this time because of the 19 weeks spent on bedrest. I tried. I tried to do the normal things, wash the dishes, do the laundry, pick up the toys – but even that seemed impossible. It was everything that I could do just to maintain the kids while David was at work. There were many times when the boys would have massive breakdowns and I would join them in tears on the floor. I didn’t know what I could do to calm them down, to calm me down. I would get angry with myself for feeling this way. I am sure that Mayah felt my frustrations as well. There were times when I couldn’t calm her down but would just have to lay her down and let her scream because I was scared of what I would do. What I pictured myself doing. I was scared at the mother I thought that I was. It is not supposed to be this way. This is supposed to be one of the happiest times for parents. After the pregnancy that I had, I was so excited to just hold her in my arms, so excited to have a perfect baby girl. And then the emotions set in and I didn’t know why I was feeling the way that I was. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

At my six week check up, I talked with my Dr about the emotions that I was dealing with. As hard as it was to admit the feelings of inadequacy, the feelings of guilt, of hopelessness, I did. Post Partum Depression. When the normal baby blues last longer than a few weeks. I was given a prescription for Zoloft. I struggled with the thought of taking a pill to “normalize” my emotions. I have studied depression, I know what causes it. As hard as it was, I knew that I needed to do something. I was scared of what I would do, what I could do. I started taking the Zoloft.

About two weeks later I had some blood work done just to get a base line and check all of my levels. A few days later my Dr called and said that it looked like my B12 level was low. It was at 75 and the low end of normal is 250. He said that I would need more blood work to see if it was a true B12 deficiency or not. That blood work would take about a week or so to come back. One of the symptoms of a B12 deficiency is depression. I was hopeful that the depression that I was feeling was because of the B12 and not Post Partum. With this new information, I stopped taking the Zoloft (I had been taking it for about 3 weeks at that point). I felt good and okay for a few days, but then the tears started back. My patience level was at an all time low. I hated the fact that I couldn’t look at Mayah without bursting out in tears. There was a day that I was totally thankful that I had a bottle of breast milk in the fridge and Jessica to take over. It was at that point that I decided along with David that the Zoloft was necessary, at least for the time being. It was not 2 days later that we got the phone call from my Dr that I did not have a true B12 deficiency. I just had a low reading on the first test.

I start working in the Fall. I will be out of the house more; I will interact with adults on a daily basis. I won’t feel trapped in my house with 4 kids. We are hoping and praying that I will get over this PPD at that time. Time will tell. But for now, I am enjoying life. I am enjoying my children. The tears have stopped. I laugh again.

FUND RAISER

2008-06-18T23:27:00.002-05:00

Hey all! The school that I will be teaching at in the fall and that Ethan will be attending Kindergarten at is doing a fund raiser. 50% of all sales placed by this Friday will go to the school. Please check out this link and see if you are interested in any of the items.

All orders must be placed by THIS Friday - June 20th! Thank you for helping out the school!

From the mouth of Ethan....

2008-06-08T15:22:00.002-05:00

Mom - my knee really hurts......Man - I am getting OLD.

As Promised - Pictures!!!!

2008-05-31T15:52:00.001-05:00

Isaac - He is actually smiling on command!

Aidan - I just love those eyes!

Mayah - Laying on my bear

Mayah - sucking her thumb - she really gets into it!

Our Kitchen - re-arranged to house a baby during the day!

Only 2 months later

2008-05-29T21:06:00.003-05:00

**NOTE TO SELF** I am sure that these loyal :) readers would like to see some updated photos of the brothers - I should get on that.

So yesterday we took the brothers to their 18 month check up. Thats when I found out that it isn't even an 18 month check up but a 15 month check up. So instead of being 2 months late we are actually 5 months late. Great - sign me up now for Mother of the Year! Well I was late yet again - shocker. This time when I walked in (don't worry I called on my way letting them know I was going to be late) the receptionist obviously annoyed with me being late looked at me and then down at her watch. Nice. This is only my 2nd visit to this office and I am already making a great impression! Although I do have to say that the receptionist that was there our first day was a WHOLE lot more pleasant than the one that was there today.

Well once we got called back to the room we then stripped the boys down to just their diaper and took them to get measured. Here are their important stats:

Isaac
25 lbs even - 26%
33.5 inches tall - 55%
49.5cm head cir. - 78%

Aidan
23.8 lbs - 11%
33.5 inches tall - 55%
47.5cm head cir. - 30%

We were then waiting in the room when the Dr came in and asked if we would be willing to return later that afternoon to finish up the appointment. Apparently she had a lunch appointment that she couldn't miss or be late for and wouldn't have time to spend with us before that. So we did - we clothed the brothers and packed them all up and took them home. Now I guess this wouldn't have been such a big deal - I mean we were late to begin with but here was our timetable for the day:

11:15 - Aidans Appointment
11:25 - Time we actually showed up
11:30 - Isaac's Appointment
12:15 - Time we were asked to leave and comeback
2:30 - Time we were asked to comeback

That meant that I had just over 2 hours to get the boys home, feed them and give them a nap. Of course their normal nap time is at noon. Well thats what we did and dispite Isaac being a little fussy all went well.

Once back for our actual "appointment" I spent some time with the Dr just telling her about the boys, since this was the first time that she saw them. I told her about Isaac's never ending sickness throughout the winter and the fact that he has had a lot of ear infections. Well she then examined them guess what - yep - Isaac has yet another ear infection. So now with his snoring, high pallet, and numerous ear infections - he gets a trip to the ENT. She wants us to be seen again in two weeks - either with her or the ENT. I think that a set of tubes is in his future. She said that with his high pallet it just pushes everything up and leaves little room for his adenoids and nasal passageways.

Other than that everything is just fine with the brothers. They are still on the small side but they are growing and they look great! The next time that we see her again for a well visit is at 24 months. Oh and they each got 2 pokes - one in each leg. Poor Babies.

I am sure that I left a few pieces of the day out - but that was the main points I think. :) Remember I am a sleep deprived mother right now!

Mayah's 1 Month Check Up

2008-05-27T22:11:00.002-05:00

I do have to say that today was a good day! Although it started really early - you know the kind of day that you really can't tell when the night before ended and the new day began. Mayah got a bath after my shower - I LOVE the smell of a freshly washed baby! Donned her cute outfit - have I mentioned yet that I falling in love with dressing a little girl - and got ready for her first appointment with a new Dr that my friend Angela led me to. David stayed home with the boys and Jessica and I headed off with Mayah - late of course! Our appointment was at 10:30 and we arrived at 10:40 - and that was just with one of the kids - Lets hope that if we have to take more we make it in time (like the brothers tomorrow)! I had already downloaded all of the paperwork needed for new patients and had it filled it out for everyone - so I didn't need to arrive early for that.

We were then taken back into our room and got the wonderful stats on Mayah - she is a whopping 8 lbs 4 ozs - The boob juice is working!!! She is also now 21 1/2 inches long - that could very well be a miss-measure because I don't know if she really grew almost 2 inches in 5 weeks. Overall, other than a cold, she is doing extremely well. For once I didn't get "lectured" for letting her sleep on her back - Just warned of the risks of SIDS. I do understand the risks - but all of my kids have been tummy sleepers.

Here is a checklist of things that she should be doing between birth and 3 months - I have checked off everything that she is doing now. I do have to add that she is consistently rolling over from her tummy to her back too - oh and actively trying to crawl! She can scoot from one side of our bed to the other or from one part of the floor to the other! She is just a very active little girl!

Well that it about all of an update that I can muster tonight. Tomorrow we have the Brothers 18 month check up so I will update on that tomorrow! Good night and lots of sleep to all!

Social and Emotional

	Begins to develop a social smile
	Enjoys playing with other people and may cry when playing stops
	Becomes more expressive and communicates more with face and body
	Imitates some movements and facial expressions

Movement

	Raises head and chest when lying on stomach
	Supports upper body with arms when lying on stomach
	Stretches legs out and kicks when lying on stomach or back
	Opens and shuts hands
	Pushes down on legs when feet are placed on a firm surface
	Brings hand to mouth
	Takes swipes at dangling objects with hands
	Grasps and shakes hand toys

Vision

	Watches faces intently
	Follows moving objects
	Recognizes familiar objects and people at a distance
	Starts using hands and eyes in coordination

Hearing and Speech

	Smiles at the sound of your voice
	Begins to babble
	Begins to imitate some sounds
	Turns head toward direction of sound

Mayah is 1 month old!!

2008-05-22T11:56:00.001-05:00

Well Mayah is a month old already. I think that it is so crazy how fast time flies now that she is out of me! My pregnancy seemed to go on forever and now she is already a month old. It is so crazy how much I love her and how she has already changed our family!

We will go for her 1 month check up on the 27th - so actually she will be 5 weeks old by then. She is doing so well and so stinking cute!

A New Blog

2008-05-17T22:13:00.003-05:00

Like I needed more to do!

I have started a new blog - this one is more focused on my daily devotional times. I am soon hoping that I would be able to actually update it daily! :) I also started it 'cause I have some new cool things in the works - I will let you know when it all works out!

If you would like to check it out you can do so here.

530 hours

2008-05-14T23:52:00.002-05:00

Thats how long my its been since I pushed my baby girl out my whohaa! What a 3 weeks this has been! She is growing so much - she actually has some chunk on her now! I will post updated pictures soon. My camera battery needed to be charged so I was not able to get some shots today like I wanted too. Maybe tomorrow.

Mayah has rolled over twice now from her belly to her back. At first I thought that it was a total fluke but now that it has happened again, I don't think so - I think that she is really doing it! We also watched her as she tried so hard to get on her hands and knees. She was on her belly and her little head was straight up in the air and she had her legs under her - up on her knees and she would push up with her arms (hands in fists). It was so cute - she would try for a few minutes and then she would just drop down and breath really hard until she got her energy back and she would try again. She did this for close to a half hour. Yep - she is going to give us a run for our money! I can just see it now she is going to be just like her brother Ethan and do everything so early!

She did really good at nights for a while but now she seems to want to give us a hard time at night. She sleeps so well during the day - sometime too well, and she is up most of the night. She is giving mommy a hard time!!!! I am just hoping that it is a mixture of gas and a growth spurt. She is wanting to eat just about every hour starting at 1:00am. I am not one who can just fall asleep so easily - thats David - not me! In between feeds she just grunts and groans until I feed her again. We have been giving her that gas stuff every 2 hours but it is not really helping. I am really hoping that we can just get over this soon!

Well Mayah is sleeping now - and we are watching the season finale of ANTM - (Go Whitney) - so I am going to shut down my computer, lay down and wait until Mayah wakes up to eat and PRAY that I will get some sleep tonight after that!

Lazy, Lazy Dayz

2008-05-13T22:15:00.002-05:00

Today was just one of those days. You know the kind where no one gets out of their Pajamas until it is time to change into new ones for the night. I was awoken to David telling me that the Air Conditioner repair man was here - he was in the hallway right outside our bedroom. That kept me in my room with Mayah for the next hour or so. David got the boys all up, bathed, and fed right away. After I came upstairs and fixed my breakfast the boys were all ready to go down for their first nap. David and I then decided to watch a movie. This would be one of the first times that we had spent just down time together in a long while.

We had a couple of choices that we talked about, I am Legend, Dan in Real Life, Juno (my choice), but we then decided on PS, I Love You. Okay so I would have to say that this is one of the best movies that I have seen in a LONG time. I cried throughout the WHOLE movie. I think that sometimes you just need a good cry. I think that I was also able to get out some of those pregnancy hormones too! If you have not seen this movie, it is a must see.

The rest of the day went really easy, we just had a really nice day. I like it when David has his days off in the middle of the week - The weekends are already so full of things to do, that him working is just one of them. By having a day off in the middle of the week - it is not filled with other things and we are actually able to just veg and not do much except just hang out with our family.

David went to a Youth Staff meeting for just an hour, and while he was there I made meatballs and Angel Hair pasta. I also decided on making a chocolate cake that we had in the pantry. Yummy! We sat and watched American Idol and ate our dinner. David then had to go and get cake frosting since we didn't have any and he didn't want to eat cake with out any. The cake was really yummy. We are now just sitting in bed - each on our own laptop doing misc. things - waiting for Mayah to eat one more time before we call it a night.

Oh - Just some random updates:

David is meeting with the COO of a company this Thursday to discuss possible career opportunities with his company. Please pray that this will all work out and that there will be something that will work for our family and meet our needs. David would really like to get out of Starbucks sooner rather than later.

Also totally random: my ears have been pierced ever since I was 10 or something. Well tonight - no clue why - my ear is like infected. It is all gross and red and pussy and stuff. So weird.

Well I am going to call it a night.

Today I am a better mother

2008-05-10T19:57:00.003-05:00

I have been a mom of 4 for just about 3 weeks now. In these 3 short weeks, I have realized a ton of different things. First being that I have awesome kids! I need to make sure that I always keep that thought first and foremost in my mind because let me tell you not all the time do the behave like awesome kids! Brining Mayah home has really brought out the, um **best**, in my boys. Lets see in the past week, Isaac has learned to and perfected the art of hair pulling. Now maybe it is because Aidan's hair is just so dang long - or he actually realized that pulling Aidan's hair is a easy and quick way to get his attention and then distract him long enough to steal what ever toy he is currently playing with. The brothers now need to be closely watched when going up or down the stairs. Aidan is now really walking up and down the stairs - no longer sitting and scooting down or crawling up. Big WAY TO GO. BUT they now understand that they can push each other down the stairs. So far it has just happened at the bottom of the stairs so the pushed brother has only fallen down 3 or 4 stairs. This is because I have caught either brother many times at the top of the stars getting ready to lung into the other one. Nice. So this has brought me to the realization that my cute, sweet, innocent boys are out for blood! They have perfected the art of stealing toys from each other, pushing each other down, hitting, strangling, pushing each other off the couch, throwing toys at each other, hitting each other with toys, doing things to each other that I never would have imagined kids that young would do to each other - but then again they are BOYS!

I have also realized that I could possibly "raise my voice" more than is necessary. There are times that I have "raised my voice" and then noticed that my windows are all open and hoped that none of my neighbors had their windows open, or even the people driving down the road had their windows down and heard my moment of weakness. Okay in the spirit of full disclosure here - I have had quite a few of these moments of weakness - each hour it seems.

I also realize that our children learn from us how to deal with situations in life. So if they are doing something that I don't like - if I yell - um "raise my voice" at them I am teaching them that when something happens to them that they don't like they get to yell and be angry. We have noticed so many times - our exact words or even our exact attitudes - coming back at us through the mouth of Ethan - and guess what - we don't like it. In fact we tend to punish him for those things. Why? Its not his fault that we have taught him what was "acceptable" behavior. We have to remember that "Do as I say, not as I do" never is successful. I will be calling Suppernanny in 5 years if we continue down this path and I have 4 mouths reciting the very things that I tell them, in the very same manner. Jo will then tell me that I brought this all upon myself.

Why don't we just turn the tables now? Change the course of our legacy, starting today? Well yesterday. Yesterday I made a conscious effort not to "raise my voice" at all. When one of the brothers hit the other - I just made sure that the one hit was okay and told the one that hit that hitting was not okay. There were no loud "NO'S" or "ABSOLUTELY NOT'S" just me focusing their attention in another direction. By the end of the day there were less fights, toy stealings, couch pushings and hair pullings. That was a big sigh of relief. Do you want to know what else there was less of - strife. I actually was not worn out at the end of the day. I actually liked my kids at the end of the day! The house just felt different.

Now it was a decision that I had to make each time I saw one bully the other - but it was a decision that was so totally worth it. It also took less effort than yelling - um "raising my voice" - at my kids. I think that I can survive being a stay at home mom of 4!! Can I also just remind everyone still reading - 3 of them under the age of 2!

I can do this. Not only am I bettering myself, but I am teaching my children that there are other ways of dealing with issues than getting angry and "raising voices". Today I am a better mother.

The most wonderful family

2008-05-10T14:12:00.004-05:00

There is a family that I have been blessed to get to know over the past few months. They all have been a wonderful support for me and my family through everything that we have gone through. It wasn't until this past Thursday night that I really understood how great this family is. This past Thursday I attended a going a way party for one of the youth. She was one of our babysitters while I was on bedrest and she will be greatly missed. Her name is Tabby and the thing that I love about Tabby is the way that she worships God. You can just tell that she is truly seeking the heart of God during worship. The Bible in John says that God is seeking true worshipers - ones that worship in spirit and in truth. I know that when God sees Tabby worshiping, He is pleased. Tabby will be missed!

Okay back to Sherri and her family. I had met Sherri when David and I had first started going to River of Life - well really shortly after we moved here. Sherri runs a local Christian School that is very successful. I had first met her two daughters, Cori and Kayla, because they worked in the nursery where the brothers went. They really attached themselves to the brothers right away. I got there phone numbers thinking that if we ever needed a sitter we could use them. (If we only knew!!!)

I then started having some pre-term labor issues and was put on bedrest in December - right before Christmas. Debbie and Ward were there so we had the help that we needed at that time. David had changed his work schedule so we really thought that I could handle 2 hours with the brothers and Ethan all by myself without too many problems. Well a week after Debbie and Ward left we realized that was not the case and I was hospitalized for 5 days due to pre-term labor. That is when we really found out the heart that Sherri has. She called David and didn't ask him if he needed anything - but she pretty much just told him that she was going to take care of making sure that our kids were taken care of not only when I was in the hospital but also once I was home. You see she spent time on bedrest with all of her pregnancies. She knew what I was going through - She had done the hospital visits, medication, bedrest with other kids. She had been there.

With the girls at her school, she arranged a weekly schedule for us. We had 1 or 2 (mostly 2) girls come over everyday when David was working and play with the boys, feed them, give them their naps, bath them, and then put them to bed. They would also keep me company. I am so thankful to these girls and all that they had done for us. The helped keep David and I sane through the past 5 months!

Well Sherri and I also made a trip to the ER for Aidan - after his wood eating incident, and a trip to L&D for me after Aidan (think he might be my adventurous one?) bruised my big 'ol preggo belly. We were able to talk during those times and I learned so much about her and her family. She also told me about her school. The kids have a chapel time everyday and some of the ones that she has described to me, and that the kids have told me about, it sounds so awesome. I want to be a part of that. How often do you see teenagers want to worship or pray for others - and it is all genuine? During the going away party I got to see a small glimps of what they do. There was a video that was shown of one of there chapel times that turned into "Church on the Street". They took chapel outside and ended up worshiping and praying for 3 1/2 hours right in front of the school on the sidewalk - in the middle of downtown Woodriver. We also watched part of the video that was filmed during the National Day of Prayer. The schools worship band played and the youth did a video. It too was awesome. At the end of the party, Ryan (one of Sherri's sons) pulled out his guitar and ended the party in worship. So if you are reading this - that might have sounded cheesy but it was not. These kids, at least 40 of them - if not more, went from playing around, having fun, jumping in the pool when it was a gloomy 55 degrees outside, eating food, behaving like normal teenagers and yet they transitioned so easily into worship. Like it was a normal part of their day. In all of my time working with youth - this is not something that I have ever seen before. It amazed me. It also made me realize that there were a bunch of things at work here.

1st - Sherri's house is a comfortable place for these teens to come and not only hang out and have fun, but to also worship. They know that. You can tell that there is peace in the house. Now I am sure that with 4 teenagers (2 boys - 2 girls) living there, there are plenty of times that the house is not peaceful but yet it is always peace-filled.

2nd - These kids are doing something right. They way that they are so easily able AND willing to enter into worship, during a party - not even at church, means that they are walking this walk every day - not just at church - or even at school. Wow.

In watching these kids, I am, dare I say it again, in Awe of them. It makes my heart happy! This is what I want to be a part of.

During this Thursday night outing I was also able to watch and get to know Sherri's kids better. They are all teenagers now but you can tell by watching them the kind of upbringing that they had. I pray that I am able to give my children that. I pray that my 4 will interact as well as her kids do. I pray that I will be always an encouragement to my children. I pray that my children will learn from us that their relationship with God is a personal one. Not something that is mandatory or expected. As much as I want my children to be believers and walk in the fullness that is God. I want it to be their choice first and foremost.

I look forward to spending more time with this family. I want to learn all that I can from them. I am blessed, and honored to call them my friends. And our babysitters! :)

I am a College Graduate!!

2008-05-09T14:52:00.002-05:00

And I graduate with honors as well!

After starting my college degree when I was pregnant with my first son. I am now done. I joked with one of my professors that now that I am done with my BA degree I can stop having kids! 4 kids - 4 1/2 years - I am done. I only have grades for 2 out of 3 of my classes so far. An A- and a B. My second B throughout this whole journey! If I get at least an A in my third class I will graduate with top honors - Summa Cum Laude, but if I get a B in my third class, I will still graduate with honors - Magna Cum Laude. Pretty cool considering everything that I have been through during this journey. Ethan - Pregnant with the twins - Pre-Term labor with the twins - Isaac and Aidan - Preterm birth - 23 days in the NICU - Seizures - being diagnosed with Epilepsy - moving cross country - Pregnant yet again - Pre-term labor, again - 127 days on bedrest - 2 more seizures - Mayah! All of this and I now have a Bachelors degree in Psychology!!!

Mayah - 2 weeks old - And a update on life.

2008-05-09T13:37:00.004-05:00

Well as of today Mayah has been outside my womb for 17 days!! Everyday that I look at her it is like my love grows for her more and more! I can not believe that after 126 days on bedrest - wondering just how I would deal with one more day - she is in my arms! My daughter. Just as I think that the bond between a mother and her sons is really something special - I have come to realize that the bond between a daughter and her mother is great. As much as I didn't think that I could step up to the challenge of being a mother of a little girl - I am so thankful that I am given this opportunity. She is truly our gift from God. And I am thankful that we have been blessed with her and thus completing our family.

We are adjusting with life with a new little one. And let me tell you it is an adjustment. We rearranged our kitchen so that we have a pack-n-play there so that Mayah has a place to sleep or just hang out and she is on the same level as all of us when David is at work. The brothers are adjusting with not being the only main focus throughout the day. They are acting up just a bit more mainly when I am holding or feeding Mayah. Our pediatrician suggested that we try a sling with Mayah so that she is close to me but also my hands are free for the twins. I just got my Ultimate Baby Wrap out and all cleaned so I will try it out this afternoon with her.

She is has a long awake period during the day - normally like 4 hours. Too bad this time is normally at the same time that the brothers are down for their nap. She is a good sleeper at night though. We normally get at least one 4 hour block a night. She is really then up every 3 hours to feed.

She is a champ at feeding. We have been to the Dr. a few times just mainly for weight checks since she was born - Here are her stats up to now:

Birthday 4/22/08 - 6lbs 7ozs 19 3/4 in long
4/24/08 (discharge day) - 6lbs 3 ozs
4/25/08 (first Dr visit) - 6lbs even
4/30/08 (second Dr visit) - 6lbs 2 ozs
5/7/08 (third Dr visit) - 6lbs 10ozs

She is gaining just like she should be! I so wanted to be successful at breastfeeding with her and it looks like we are off to a great start! There are times when I feel like all I am doing is feeding someone or changing someones diaper! If it is not Mayah it is Ethan or the brothers - or ME!!! I can't believe how hungry I am! This Tuesday I had my braces adjusted and now my mouth is really really really sore so I am not able to eat anything that I have to bite into. That limits my food intake choices quite a bit!

7 Years Today

2008-05-05T15:37:00.003-05:00

7 years ago today - David and I started our journey together. It is amazing to look back and see all that we have been through together. We have been blessed with 4 beautiful children. We have lived in 6 different houses. We have lived in 3 different states, moving cross country 2 different times. We have both gone back to school and received college degrees. Through all of this I can say that I love my husband more today than the day that I said "I Do". He does complete me. He is my better half. Tonight we will celebrate our lives together. We will be amazed at where we came from, we will be in awe at where we are at, and we will dream about what the future holds for us. Most importantly we will be together. Forever and Always.

One Week Old

2008-04-29T22:13:00.005-05:00

It's amazing to me how long a week seems to last when you are pregnant, but how quickly it goes by once she is here.
Mayah is a week old today.
She is a champion at breastfeeding & pooping. She poops EVERY hour!
She is sleeping very well at night with atleast 2 four hour stretches.
The brothers love their little sister & Aidan loves to "give her lovens" and he puts his cheek up to her cheek.
Aren't they cute?

Ethan loves his little sister & is going to be a GREAT big brother to her.
Everyone is doing well and I hope to be able to update more regularly.
Because of the seizures I had before giving birth, I am now back on anti-seizure and it is making it difficult to sit in front of the computer.
Please bear with me & know that I am thinking of you all.

The kids with Grandma & Grandpa Havasu

Daddy's Girl

Isn't she cute?

My Baby Shower AFTER the Baby

2008-04-26T21:56:00.004-05:00

My friend Angela threw me a shower at the Honey Tree.
It was an awesome time with my friends and family!
Thank you all!

Friends & Family

Angela even got my my favorite - Carrot Cake. YUM!

Check out the diaper cake too!

Lots of great gifts

Funny onesie

Mayah is Here!!!!

2008-04-22T20:02:00.003-05:00

Tuesday, April 22 started at 3am with me having a seizure.
David & I drove to the hospital and I was immediately taken to L&D and put on IVs & montering. The doctors came in and talked to me & said because of my seizures that it would be better to deliver than allow me to stay pregnant.
They didn't want to start my induction until I was loaded up on anti-seizure medicine.
10:30am I was started on pitocin. It was increased every half hour until I was at the full 20.
At 2:30 they broke my water and I started having some low blood pressure issues & at 3:30 I got my epidural. Thank God!
Basically the man with the big needle came in and stuck it in my back. I love that man!
My blood pressure issues continued and I was watched constantly until I delivered.
There were some points that I was ready to give up and just go for a csection because I wasn't dilating as fast as I wanted to, but everyone kept encouraging me & telling me I could do it.
My friend, Debbie, left the hospital at apx. 8pm to meet her husband at my house which is 45 minutes away and when she left the nurse checked me and I was still 5cm. So, we knew it was going to be a long night.

At 8:45 I was on the phone with my friend Angela and I was telling her I was real nauseous & shaky and she told me that she bet I was in transition and was going to be ready to have the baby soon.
I told her, "No, it's just my low blood pressure."
The nurse overheard the conversation and decided to check me.
Angela should be a midwife!!!!
When she checked me, I was complete & ready to push.

Problem! Debbie was 45 minutes away!
They said if I really wanted to wait until she got back I just needed to lay on my side, breathe through my contactions and not push.
We called frantically for Debbie to come back and she rushed back to the hospital.
At 9:30 the nurse said we couldn't wait anymore & I needed to start pushing.
Minutes later, Debbie walked through the door.
It took me 4 contractions & Miss Mayah Jacqueline entered the world!
6lbs 7oz. & 19 3/4 inches long.

And, the boys...

I have a contest for you!!!!

2008-04-19T00:05:00.004-05:00

Full Moon - Eggplant - Walking - Burritos

We are doing everything that we can to get this baby here!!!

So now I guess we should start a poll to see when you all think that she will get here.

Here is what we are going to do. In my comment section leave me two different entries:

1. Date and time of Little Bits birth

2. Weight and length of Little Bit.

We will have a **prize** for the one who picks the closest correct info. How does that sound?? Remember David works for Starbucks so the prizes will be good!!! If you don't have a blog - leave me a e-mail address so that I can get a hold of you if you are the winner!

Good Luck!

So info that might help: at my last growth scan at 36 weeks she was measuring in the 23% at 5lbs 3oz +/- 9oz. This whole time she has been anywhere 15th and 25th % during her regular growth scans. I have gained a whole 11 lbs this pregnancy! Anything else you would like to know???

Results

2008-04-16T20:07:00.003-05:00

Well I am still and will be still pregnant tomorrow. The amino showed that her lungs are not ready yet. I know it is all for the best, it is just still hard to handle.

They now won't induce my until 39 weeks. Here's to two more weeks pregnant.

Waiting

2008-04-16T14:24:00.002-05:00

We are now playing the waiting game. We should have the results by 4 Central time. That is just an hour and a half from now.

It was not as bad as I thought - although I am sore in the area now - and having wicked contractions. Nothing timetable - but also said to be expected.

I will let you all know when I know something.

Send up those prayers

2008-04-16T06:35:00.001-05:00

We will be having our amino today in just a few hours - please pray that all goes well and Little Bit is ready for Thursday night!

Thanks!

Just in case you have been wondering

2008-04-14T23:18:00.004-05:00

In just 72 hours from now - if all goes well - I will be laying in a hospital bed wishing labor to come fast and painless!!! Of course I still have a paper due in 24 hours that I am only a paragraph into on a 7 page journey. Other than that report I still have 3 book reviews and 5 assignments that are just going to be forced to wait until after Little Bit comes.

All three boys have fevers, runny noses and coughs - All started just this morning. So we will be taking them to the Dr tomorrow afternoon.

David has decided, thankfully, that he is going to work tomorrow and then take the rest of the week off!!! I am so excited that he will not have to work Wednesday and Thursday. The downfall is that tomorrow will be a LONG day - probably he will only work long enough to get me and the boys to the ped.

I booked an appointment for a cut, color and wax for Thursday at noon! I will go from there to get my toes done :) It will be my last "free" moment for a while I am assuming. I will be looking forward to answering the question of "when are you due?" that day with "10 pm tonight"!

To be honest, I am really looking forward to being computer/internet/freakin' drama/stress free for a few days.

Just how do you spell D-O-N-E???

2008-04-11T04:58:00.004-05:00

It is 5 am and I am sitting here in my sons bedroom looking out his window throughly enjoying the fact that I am not looking at a 12 foot block wall that was placed there to keep out the traffic noise from the I15 Freeway.

I took my Ambien at midnight, but as it seems the other pills that I take have pulled rank with the Ambien. A battle that I am at the moment suffering because of. Some wonder if this could be the start of actual labor. Of course it can not - you see I am no longer hooked up the the terb pump - I no longer have a nurse tell me twice a day that the feelings that I KNOW are contractions are nothing more than Uterine Irritably. So you see that there is now way that my body can actually be preparing itself for labor on its own. Our could it? You see nothing has been normal this whole pregnancy so of course why does this which could just be normal - fell like something totally different??

I have entered the world where I look at awe and wonder to those women who are able to carry a full nine months with out even blinking an eye. Those women who seemingly have the prefect pregnancies. At first I was angry - I wanted to share my misery with those pregnant ones around me.I would enter a store and get the knowing smile and nod with "when are you due?" question - my response "not soon enough". Please don't get me wrong - I am and have always been fascinated by the womans body being able to sustain a life that starts as no bigger than a head of pin. When I found out that I was pregnant with the twins - as I grew each day to actually think that there are two babies in side of me. WOW The creative power that God is to allow our bodies to sustain life for a precious other that we ultimately get to call our own. To think that as you get closer to full term - the same baby that is in that growing belly will be the same baby that will come out craving to be united with the voices and sounds of the world that she has spent nine months imagining about.

I have come to the conclusion that no matter how you get there
The end result is the same.

Our lives will be forever changed
by one small cry
tiny fingers wrapped tightly around mine
a mouth that will look to my body to once again sustain its life
Forever a part of something that it greater than the original
When a child is born SYNERGY happens
Look out world - HERE SHE COMES!!!!

At least someone is comfortable about having the lights on.

2008-04-10T22:23:00.003-05:00

I am not sure if you I have told you all this (and I am just too lazy to go back and find out) but I have been sleeping in Ethan's because his bed is SOOO much more comfortable than mine. It is a firm queen size and it fits me perfectly! Well this afternoon I was sitting up in my new room trying to do some homework and my attention was directed to Ethan's fish tank. We gave him a fish tank for his 2nd birthday and we have found ourselves constantly replenishing the fish that we have in his tank. I do find myself tearing up each time we find a "floater" but Ethan thinks that it is "cool" to "set them free in the ocean". Remember all drains lead to the ocean. I guess that we have some great big drains if they make it to the ocean from the middle of the US! One particularly sad occasion was setting a few fish free that were on their last legs anyway. It is one thing to flush a dead fish - another thing to flush a fish that David SAYS is going to die anyway.

Well tonight I was watching the two fish that are currently residing in the fish tank and thought that their behavior was rather odd. The bigger one was pushing around the smaller one. At first I thought that he was attacking the smaller one and after urgently calling David up to Ethan's room to separate our fighting fish - he informs me the bigger fish is a boy fish and the smaller one is a girl fish. He then leaves me to fill in the blanks.

I guess that I never really thought about where baby fish came from.......

Because I have so much other stuff to do - I decided to add this to the mix right now too!!!!!

2008-04-09T22:30:00.002-05:00

I found this link and decided that it was actually worth my time! I mean I need things to do that are far more important than finishing homework before the baby comes right???? And since we are now down to 8 days or so I gotta get busy!!! Any way It is The Great Blog Hunt and I love that it takes you to a whole bunch of Way Cool blogs that I will be bookmarking along the way!!

If you are interested and don't have any homework to do :) why don't you try it out
http://www.greatbloghunt.com/
and it will explain everything.

Good luck!

No cute title - 'cause I am just DONE!!!!!

2008-04-09T19:10:00.004-05:00

I had my Dr's appointment today. I wish I sounded more excited about it all but right now I am just in a massive funk. There is so much going on and I am just ready for everything to be done! I will give you a run down of my appointment. David was able to go with me and that is always good. This is the first pregnancy that we have had that he has not been at every appointment with me. I guess that is what happens when you have 4 kids! They were short an u/s tech today so I ended up having my appointment split. My blood pressure was taken and good - 108/45 and there was no protein in my urine. All good. Then I was asked to step on the scale. I gained 3 lbs since Friday!!!! That means that I have gained a total of 7 lbs in 10 days!!!!! I understand that weight gain is good - but that is a little drastic in my opinion! I was then sat down for my NST. Little bit did good - her heartbeat was a steady 135 and she gave just 3 accels in 15 minutes with her heartbeat getting to the 180's. I had 3 or 4 contractions in that time too but that is not new. During my NST the Dr came and sat with me. I love my Dr! He just has the best sence of humor. He is really down to earth and just a great guy. I really tried to convince him to deliver me today. I even told him I would buy him dinner! I would have even been okay with a c-sec if he would deliver me today! I am afraid that someone in this family won't survive the week if I stay pregnant!! I am so hormonal right now and unfortunately my family is paying the price! Of course I am still pregnant and will stay pregnant for another week at least!

We went ahead and scheduled an amino for next Wednesday at 9am and then my induction. I have my Golden Ticket!! I really do have a golden ticket that has my induction date and time on it. I get to report to L&D at 10pm on Thursday night, the 17th! Lets pray for 2 things - first the amino is all clear and second no one in St. Louis decides to deliver on Thursday night so that I get a bed in L&D!

I then had a u/s to check everything and all looked good. Her weight is consistent with what it has been and she is still on the small side. She is about 5lbs 3oz give or take 6ozs. The tech showed us all of her hair - she said that she can see lots on the u/s already! Little bit also has some chubby cheeks!!! I can't wait to meet her!

Oh - I did ask about my weight gain and my Dr was a little shocked once he actually saw it. He really couldn't believe it and wanted to know where I put it on at! He said that he will just wait and see with next week. My blood sugars were really good so he wasn't massively concerned with it then.

I tested positive for Group B Strep - very weird since my last hospital visit I tested negative so some how in the past 5 weeks I got this. My Dr said that it is nothing to worry about - I will just be given antibiotics during delivery.

Let me tell you - I am so looking forward to next Thursday night!!! I would also be very excited if I went into labor between now and then too!!! I know that I am still 3 weeks away from my actual due date - but also remember that I am 4 weeks further than I was with the twins!!! I am finally getting much bigger and my stretch marks are getting stretch marks!!!

Well I am off to do more homework - or maybe I just might sleep - who knows.

36 Weeks!!

2008-04-07T14:53:00.004-05:00

Well I made it this far!!! We will find out on Wednesday my end date!! I can't believe that it is all coming to an end! Boy am I ready!! I have even resorted to sleeping in Ethan's room because his bed is a little firmer and SO much more comfortable on my back. I get to sleep right next to the open window - which will freeze everyone else out but is nice and comfortable for me! The next few nights they are calling for rain and I LOVE the rain so the thought of being able to sleep next to the open window to hear and smell the rain is exciting!

I am feeling more and more pregnant as each day goes on. I guess that is good since I am 36 weeks! I wonder if it has anything to do with my 4 lb weight gain in one week or not!

Finally!!

2008-04-07T14:16:00.005-05:00

OH MY GOODNESS!!!! My Google has been down since Friday night and that has caused SUCH havoc in my life!!! It meant that every time I opened my Mozilla Firefox I would have 3 of my tabs come up saying that the server was busy. It meant limited access to my g-mail account - my only e-mail. Most importantly it meant that Blogger was also down for me! I have wanted to update since Friday and just have not been able to!

SO I guess that I am here to say that I won't be updating that much until I get most of my homework done. I have a bunch to do and only limited time to do it in - All due sometime this week. Here is the rundown of what I have to do - (like you all really care and want to know):
I have 4 Assignments due on the 10th.
I have 6 due on the 13th
5 due on the 15th (4 of these are 4-6 page book reviews and one is a 7 page research paper)
I then have 6 more assignments that are due the 27th and 28th, but I need to be done with everything by the 15th though because we have no clue what next weeks holds with this baby.

That in total is 21 assignments that I still need to do - do you remember just 2 weeks ago it was at 24?? Gee I have been busy.

Well I am off to write an answer to "How do you describe listening in a chat group?"

Isaac is officially ear infection free!!!

2008-04-03T23:30:00.005-05:00

Well for the first time in close to 2 months - Isaac is officially healthy! No more ear infections!

He is almost 25 lbs now - I am surprised that he is not 52 lbs because he out eats BOTH of his brothers! He will literally eat double what Ethan AND Isaac together eats. and he is only 6 oz's heaver than Aidan. Aidan must be eating his socks or something to pack on the pounds (thats where they are all going - now I know)!

MUST ....GO .....NEED ......TO .........DO ........MORE ..........DREADED ...............HOMEWORK ............ :(

Answers Part 2

2008-04-01T20:39:00.002-05:00

Here is another answer to a question that was posed to me from my blog asking if there were questions. Does that make any sense?

Julie asked: What do you do to alleviate hip/back pain from laying down 24/7? I really am dying to know since I'm aching and figure you've been at this longer than me.

Well I would like to know the answer to this one too! Really the only thing that I find that brings some temp relief is to get on my hands and knees. I will get like this a few times a day. I have also been known to prop some pillows up under me so that I am resting on my knees and those pillows - as weird as it sounds it is actually a pretty comfortable position. A few other things this has helped without really knowing about it - passing gas (sad but true!) and flipping little bit from breech to head down. For some reason breech babies don't like this position.

I also sit on a heating pad 3 times or so a day. This helps the lower back pain and it also helps to heal the scar tissue from my 17P injections. When laying on your side if you put a pillow under your growing belly and then one under your hip that is against the bed - so that your hip in on the pillow and not the bed - it helps relieve some pressure as well.

Hope you are able to find some relief :)

The nurse.....

2008-04-01T17:33:00.004-05:00

I am not sure how many read my pregnancy secrets so I decided to post this here too because it is just too crazy of a story - and I didn't want my loyal blog readers (like I have them:)) to notice that it has been a few days since my last post. Don't worry though a BIG one is in the works!

I just got off of the phone with a nurse from my insurance company. Because I am pregnant I belong to a program called "Moms to Babies". They followed me pretty closely with the twins because of the PTL and follow me closely with this pregnancy as well. She calls weekly. It is annoying. She is very hard to understand and because of HIPPA (or whatever it is) she won't talk to David if he answers the phone - even after me telling her she could. Well today the insanity continued. I don't even get into details with her - I just kinda smile and nod. Well today she asked me if I was having contractions - my answer was yes. She then asked me how many - I said a few a day - she wanted a number - I said 3 to 4. She then asked me if I WAS FEELING THEM??????? UM no - I have 3 to 4 contractions a day that I CAN'T FEEL. And she went to nursing school......

My Wish List

2008-03-29T21:06:00.003-05:00

So I decided that I would actually write down some of the things that I am **wishing** for before little bit makes her entrance into the world. Some of them are probable some of them are just that - wishes! But hey at least it gives you something else to read right? Oh and it gives me something to do - other than homework!

1. A pedicure. With the way that I lay everyday I can see that my poor toes are DEARLY in need of some assistance. I would just do it myself to save us some money - BUT there is no way that I am able to even reach my toes at this point! Plus I would love the massage for my feet and legs.

2. My hair colored and trimmed. The day before I was admitted to the hospital in January, I was in to see Rhonda to get my hair cut and colored. I went a bit red with some blond highlights. Well I now have about 2 inches of dark/gray that is showing through. I never realized how much gray I have already - and I am only 30!!!

3. My house professionally cleaned. I would love for someone like Marry Maids to come out and clean from top to bottom. David has done such an awesome job of keeping the house clean but there is nothing like having your window sills cleaned and the nooks and crannies in the bathroom cleaned out. It would also be really nice to bring home little bit to a CLEAN house and then me not having to worry about it for a while - well at least a week!

4. Our carpets cleaned. You should see our living room floor. It is a total disaster! Juice cups have leaked, sodas spilled, leaky diapers - our floor has really taken its toll.

5. The brothers to be potty trained. Like I said this is a WISH list!

6. All of my laundry to be done. Now I am sure that this will all get done but there will always be more and it would be nice to come home to NO laundry.

7. A full nights REST-FILLED sleep. With no having to get up and pee!

That is all that I can think of right now - I am sure that there are more, but right now I need to get some sleep. :)

This is what 16 weeks of bed rest will do to a house!

2008-03-28T23:03:00.001-05:00

This is my house right now. Well not the whole house just the basement. All of our laundry - if you count the baskets there are 12 of them. each one holds about a load and a half. That adds up to close to 18 - 20 loads of laundry. All of the clothes on the desk need to be put away - but that requires walking up two filights of stairs. See the book shelves and the piles of boxes?? That is where little bits "room" is supposed to be. Right now - her crib is in two boxes up against a wall in our living room. We have a TON to do!! Bonus points to the one that realizes that we have a hole in our wall - one that has been there for 3 weeks now. I hope that when they come to fix it we know where the cat is first :)

My Three Things

2008-03-28T22:03:00.002-05:00

Okay - this was started by Debi and I thought that I would post mine too. I need to add a disclaimer though. Even though there are things that I would change about my past - I have to believe that "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. So I would say that there are not things that I regret about my life - just things that as I look back, I wish I would have done differently. Hind sight is 20/20 right??

1. That perm I got back in 2000 - yeah now that is something that I totally regret!!! When I told the lady that my hair doesn't hold a curl very well she decided to use the smallest rollers ever. I ended up with the tightest spiral kinks EVER!!! That was the beginning of the worst 2 years of my hair. A month later I went back to have my hair straightened - which just turned it into a form of cotton - I couldn't touch it wet, had to wait for it to dry before I could brush it out. Then we colored it - not good. The only way that I could deal with it was to just cut it all off. I really came close to shaving my head - would of happen too if it had not have been for these 4 huge freckles that I have above my right ear. So I ended up with my hair being a whole 2 inches long! Took forever to grow back..........

2. As much as I enjoyed getting my degree now - I wish that I would have gone to college after Bible school. I am so glad that I took the two years to go to TBI - it was totally life changing, but I wish that after that I signed up for night classes or went to school full time then. I wonder where we would be at now if that is what I did. hum........

3. I think that we would have been wiser if we would have kept our condo in Vegas and not sold it to buy our house in Las Vegas - I don't think that we would be in the financial situation that we are in now if we would have. But of course then the market was booming and we did GREAT with the sale of the condo - who would have known 4 years later where the market would be. I guess that it wasn't us just buying the house - it was the AWFUL refi that we were talked into that changed us from our 30 year fixed to a 3 year ARM (all to save just 150 dollars a month). But here again - if we didn't do all of that - would we be here in IL right now? We are so happy - we love it here (despite dearly missing Davids family). And even though Angela wants to move away from here - I am glad that she is so close and that one of these days we will get to see more of each other!

34 weeks 2 days!!! Only 23 days left!!!

2008-03-26T16:05:00.002-05:00

Well today was my official 34 week appointment!! I am still amazed that I have made it this far. We are now instead of counting how long I have been pregnant for I am actually counting down 'till delivery! I love it - only 23 days left that is just over 3 weeks!

I had a NST, Ultrasound, and a Appointment with the Dr. I am excited because my normal Dr. is back next week and then we can get serious about scheduling the amino and induction. I think that my hope of continuous weight gain was squelched as I stepped on the scale and found that even with a full bladder I had lost 1 of the 2 lbs that I gained last week! David thinks that it is because I have been moving around a little bit more this past week. Little bit needed some extra motivation during the NST. She was very "flat" and not moving a lot so they buzzed her. Well that got her going and is STILL keeping her going. I had contractions - what is new? I went ahead and did a demand dose of terb and things settled down. She looks great on the U/S. We will not do another growth scan until 36 weeks. Fluid levels looked great and blood flow is just fine. Everything is looking good with Little Bit!

Meeting with the Dr. was a little "different". I went in with a list of different questions that I had and we only got to the first one! One of the main issues that we wanted to talk about was the risks of VBAC. This was one of the few appointments that David was able to be with me at so he wanted to hear what the risks were with going about a VBAC. At the end, he suggested that we consider a scheduled c-sec just because we have some questions about the risks. I really want my regular Dr back! I really want to avoid a c-sec so we are just going to head in that direction. They better be ready with LOTS of drugs if we need to end up with a c-sec!

I also was checked today - I had thought that I could possibly be leaking some fluid so they did a swab to see. He also did a "glance by" of my cervix and said that everything looked good.

All and all I get to stay pregnant for another week! My next appointment not until next Fri. worth the wait because it will be with my normal Dr. Oh and I must say that he has been off for the past 3 weeks because him and his wife are down in the Dominican Republic adopting a baby girl! How exciting for him!!

Stats on the Brothers

2008-03-25T21:55:00.001-05:00

Well today was our wonderful WIC appointment. I do have to say that our WIC office is wonderful. We have never had any problems and they have always worked with us with any thing that we have needed. It is just a pain when we have 3 kids and the brothers need to get undressed and held and then they need their fingers poked for the iron test. Well the good thing that came out of it was that I was able to finally get accurate stats on the brothers!

Isaac
Weight: 24 lbs 10 ozs
Height: 32 1/2 inches

Aidan
Weight: 24 lbs 6 ozs
Height: 32 1/2 inches

They are still small but growing!!

Our Day With a Sick Isaac

2008-03-25T21:41:00.001-05:00

So Isaac has really been sick all winter. There hasn't been a day where his nose hasn't been runny or crusty. We have just thought that it is probably allergies - since I deal with them and so did Ethan. The brothers were all at the Dr's in January and had sinus infections and then 2 weeks later they both had ear infections. We didn't take them back to the Dr to make sure that the ear infections had cleared up, we just sorta assumed that they did.

Well this morning David went up to their room to get them up in the morning and Isaac was burning up. Not just with a low grade fever but he was 104.5 under his arm. We gave him some Advil and then I called the Dr to see if we could get in. We were able to get an appointment within the next hour so I hurried (I know not allowed - but it was take one to the Dr. or stay at home and deal with the other two) to get ready and took Isaac to the Dr.

I have to say that I love spending time with each one of the brothers on a one on one basis. It is so rare that we get to do that and I need to make sure that once little bit comes we spend time with each of the kids on a one on one basis.

Because Isaac was not feeling well he just sat in my lap the during the entire time waiting in the waiting room and then waiting for the Dr. He sits right under my arm and rests his arm/hand on my belly and every few minutes he will say "sister" and then pat my belly. He loves his sister already! I can't wait to see how he reacts her once she is here.

Well once the Dr came in (I should mention that I did see a new Dr this week that I am MUCH happier with and I am thinking of switching to her for the boys.) Isaac was still running a fever. She went over his chart and his past history and said that most likely he didn't get over his original ear infection and it has just kicked back up again. I told her that Isaac is a snorer too. He has snored since day one. I remember the NICU staff commenting on it. We were told that we should wait until he is about a year old and then see if he was still doing it. Of course life has just been so crazy that we haven't done anything about it - until now.

I guess that infants/toddlers are not supposed to snore. So once we get his ear infection cleared up we will need to see an ENT to find out what is going on. Most likely he will need his adenoids out. Great - that is now two kids that will need surgery (Ethan is still needing his hemorrhoid removed). We did know that there was probably an issue with the way that everything was structured when Isaac was first born. When they tried to put in a G-tube for feedings they were only able to use one nostril because the other airway (is that what you call it) was so thin that they couldn't even get the tube down it. The side that they ended up using for the G-tube only had room for the G-tube. The Dr was hoping that as he got bigger - so would everything else. Well it looks like that has not happened and Isaac is heading for a sinus surgery.

So Isaac is back on antibiotics for an ear infection. He is still running a high fever, we have to give him to Thur - if his fever has not broke by then we need to go back to the Dr. So for another little bit - she also suggested an Autism screen for Isaac. This was something that we were concerned about earlier but he has advanced so much in just a few months that we really haven't thought much about it. She said that there are just some "things" that could point to Autism or could just also be because he is a twin and even thought he was the first one out - he is not the dominate twin. Well someone needs to tell him that! :)

Time will tell.

Answers Part 1

2008-03-24T11:40:00.003-05:00

Here are some answers to the questions that have been asked so far. Keep them coming!

Debi asked: What is your strangest craving you have had (any pregnancy)?

Ice. Ice has been by far the weirdest craving that I have had this pregnancy. I love the Sonic ice - we by it by the bag and I go through at least 3 bags a week. Thats 30 lbs of ice!!! Other than the ice, I really have not had any real cravings for things.

Jenn H asked: What do you want to do with the degree you are working on and are you planning on pursuing a masters?

Well the plan was to start my Masters in the Fall - but that was before I found out that I was pregnant. I think that we are going to just really wait and see how the summer goes. The only hard part about that is most Psychology Masters require a GRE score and that would mean that I need to take it this fall/winter for enrollment in the Fall of 2009. There are a couple of on-line schools that I am looking at that actually set you up for your State Board exams and licensure. End game would be my MFT cert.

I would really like to be a crisis counselor for teens. I think that for job experience I am looking into guidance counselor at the High School level right now. Maybe one day have a private family practice or at least be able to offer my services through our local church. I would love to write - either books or journal articles, I do want to get into some sort of research programs. I would like to teach at the college level.

Lizze asked: What are you hobbies when you are a free-woman? (aka not committed to bed rest haven)

Gee Lizze - this is a hard question to answer. You see ever since I got pregnant with my first son and decided that I would be a SAHM - I decided that I needed to be productive with something other than raising our child - so I enrolled in school. That has consumed just about all of my "free time" I am in my last semester right now so I guess we will see what fills my days then!

My husband and I are extremely active in our church as well. We work with the youth and would love to allow that to pay our bills one day! I want teens to understand that there is more out there than just what they are experiencing in Jr. High/High School. I think that there is nothing better to see the look on their face when they experiance first hand the power of God in their lives. I want them to realized that there is a greater purpose for their life and that they can be a world changer!

I personally love to read, write, and cook. I can't wait to be able to cook meals for my family that include more than stage 2 baby foods! With 3 boys I think that I will get my wish sooner rather than later!

What do you want to know about me?

2008-03-23T22:26:00.003-05:00

I figured that if there are people reading this, they just might have some questions about things. Or maybe there is something about me that they want to know or know more of. SO ask away - I will answer you. Just ask your question in a comment and I will answer it in a "formal" blog. How does that sound - and who wants to take the first ride??

Keeping me pregnant!

2008-03-21T11:38:00.000-05:00

These are all of the steps that I take to put my change my terb pump site. Impressive don't you think?? Hey it is keeping me pregant!!!

And The News Just Keeps Getting Better.....

2008-03-19T16:15:00.010-05:00

So today was my now weekly Dr's appointment. Although I did not see the Dr. I am officially 33weeks and 3days. I had a NST and a U/S. I don't even know where to start. After getting so much news that has been less than positive it was amazing to finally walk out of the Dr knowing that things were looking up and all was well with the Woolf 6-pack!

First - I have gained a WHOLE 2 lbs since last Wednesday! How funny that I can say that I have officially doubled my whole pregnancy weight gain in 1 week! Yep thats right I am now up 4 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. We then encountered a little hick-up while I was hooked up to the NST - in 20 minutes I had almost 7 contractions. The Dr took a look at them and decided that they were more an irritability and not a real contraction. I then was taken down for an U/S. Fluid level looks great! OH and the BEST PART is that little bit HAS FLIPPED!!! She is no longer breech.

Funny sidetrack here - While I was laying on the table getting ready to have my U/S, I asked my tech what I could do to help her flip. She said that she has something that she recommends and it has worked in 75% of the patients that did it. It is really easy - hands and knees for 15 minutes twice a day. That simple. I kinda laughed at her and told her that for the past week I have been so uncomfortable (extremely constipated and NOTHING has worked) that the only way that I have found any relief was to get on my hands and knees. I have spent MANY minutes of each day for the past week in that position (it has also been really good to relieve some of my lower back pain as well). She said well lets see if it worked - and sure enough SHE DID!!!

WAY TO GO LITTLE BIT!!!

I didn't have an official weight scan but the tech did look and said that it looks like she could be close to 4 lbs!!! I guess that 2 lbs that I gained was really beneficial to her! The other AWESOME news is that during the whole U/S little bit was breathing!!!! She said that at 33 weeks about 25% of babies practice breathing and only some of the time. For little bit to be breathing for the whole 20 minute u/s meant that if we did deliver now - she would most likely have NO breathing problems, meaning little to no NICU time!

Okay so some interesting facts:

This is my 3rd pregnancy and my 3rd pregnancy in which my bellybutton still has not popped out!
No new stretch marks - I think that the twins did me in!
Ethan can intelligently explain the differences between a c-sec or a vaginal delivery. Although he say "cut her out" or "push her out" to define each one.
Never before (even with the twins) do I remember peeing so much - but so little at the same time - if you can understand that.
One of my all-time favorite snacks is a bell pepper. Thats it just a bell pepper - if I am feeling adventurous I will dip it in some ranch.

I think that is about all that I can think of right now. David has just hired a while new staff - just about so he would like me to stay pregnant for at least 2 more weeks to get them all trained. I think that I can do it :)

Fun start to my day

2008-03-18T02:03:00.002-05:00

So as I sit here, okay lay here, I am wishing contractions and back pain away. Little girl has been way active today and I am starting to pay for it I think. I had to monitor and send that into Matria and when she called me back she had counted 7 perfectly shaped contractions and a handful more square (we think that baby girls head is butting up against the monitor during a contraction). Well 4 an hour is my threshold. So I am now up at 2 in the morning watching The Bachelor that I TiVo'd last night.

Oh the fun! Heres to no more contractions today!

33 Weeks Today!!!

2008-03-17T19:06:00.003-05:00

I am so excited to make it this far in my pregnancy!! We never thought that we would. My Dr keeps telling me that the only reason that he thinks that I am this far is because Little Bit is breech. She is moving around so much, sometimes I think that she is going to reach out of my belly and grab whatever happens to be sitting on my belly at that time. :)

Today was my umteenth 17P injection. Let me tell you - I screamed through this one. It hurt so bad. David is great with giving me my shots he really is a pro - but for some reason this one hurt to high heaven! I called my Matria nurse just to make sure that this was somewhere in the realm of normal. She told me that it is very common for these to hurt worse with each time that I get them. She said that because they are done in the same general area each week scar tissue is built up and then it is painful to have to push the very thick injection through that tissue. Great! I only have 3 more of these so I guess that I can handle the pain - I mean it is for a good cause right?

I am really needing to get my butt in gear with my school work. I am such a procrastinator!

Okay so I have realized that I haven't updated on the boys in a while. Other than our trip to the ER for Aidan. Aidan is really starting to get sooooo cute - I mean he was cute to begin with but now he had just hit mega cuteness! He is starting to give me kisses. Well not only me - everyone. The best is when he tries to kiss Isaac - Isaac wants nothing to do with it! Aidan ends up chaseing him down - grabbing his clothes and holding on until Isaac falls down - in tears - then Aidan gets on top of him and lays on on Isaac! It is so funny! I know that this is bad but whenever I want a laugh - I tell Aidan to go give his brothers kisses! It is a hoot and a half! They are both starting to play peek a boo now too. I know we are way behind the times with this one but.... They have been playing it for a while now with blankets or towels - but now when you say peek a boo they cover their eyes! It is cute. After a while Aidan gets board with that and wants to cover my eyes! Man I love these kids!

These kids can also throw down some major tantrums!! Here is the kicker - they have watched us for long enough telling Ethan to "change his attitude" and if needed go and sit on the stairs until he can change his tude. Well now when Aidan throws his fits all we have to say is "Aidan - No, go sit on the stairs until you are done." He will then walk over to the stairs and sit down until he is done crying - then he will get up and go play happily! WOW! Isaac just throws himself down to make sure that he lands on something that looks like it will hurt so that we feel sorry for him. I guess that they both are working it in their own ways.

They both can say sister! When I ask them where their sister is they will both come and pat my belly - they normally try to lift up my shirt so that they can see it! Isaac loves to put his head on my belly and just leave it there. I really think that he is going to be a great big brother - I think that they all are - but I think that Isaac is really going to have a soft spot for his sister!

Well I am off to do homework......... maybe.......

32 weeks!!!!

2008-03-12T21:41:00.003-05:00

I have a 32 week picture - but I lost my cords to download it off of my camera so until then you will just have to imagine my 32 week baby bump - Maybe if I feel up to getting a gussied up I will take another picture but by then it will be a 33 week picture.

So today I had my 32 week appointment. I can't even believe that I made it to 32 weeks! My Dr can't believe that I made it to 32 weeks. It is all by God's grace - believe me! So I will give you a rundown of my appointment. Starting this week I will have the works done each week at the Dr's. I start weekly appointments, weekly Non-Stress Tests, weekly growth ultrasounds and weekly cervical checks. Oh the joys of a High Risk pregnancy!

So on to the fun stuff. I officially weight 177. That is only 2 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. It also means that I have not gained any weight in 2 weeks. If I may sidetrack here for a minute. Weight is a very sensitive issue for me. I have spent majority of my life being overweight. I also remember being told by my mother that if I was anything like her I would gain obscene amounts of weight, when I was pregnant with my first. I was very fortunate to loose close to 30 lbs during the first 4 months of my pregnancy with Ethan. I did eventually gain that plus 10 more lbs back, still giving me a pre-birth weight of 215 lbs. I can say that it was really cool to come home from the hospital weight less than when I got pregnant! I was very unsuccessful of losing weight - even despite pumping/breastfeeding for the first 4 months. We then found out that I had a thyroid dysfunction and was put on pills to help with that - but alias still no major weight loss. Then I got pregnant with the twins. I was close to 190 lbs when I found out that I was pregnant. This pregnancy too, I lost weight in the beginning. I had just started to put it back on when I delivered prematurely at 33 weeks. I was pretty close to 190 - 195 when I gave birth. Here again I came home lighter than when I got pregnant! I lost some weight really fast while I was breastfeeding - well mainly pumping - but when I stopped all the weight came back on fast. I then spent the next year or so trying to loose weight and doing a pretty good job of it! Being diagnosed with Epilepsy helped I am sure - because the meds took away majority of my appetite. I made it down to 175 when I found out that I was pregnant. During the first 6 weeks I lost another 10 lbs. Probably due to moving to a new state and all that stress! So now I am at 177. Officially up 12 lbs, but really only 2 :) I wouldn't normally be worried about this - but read on and you will see why I am a bit concerned.

Okay now that I am done with my weight rant - back to my appointment. I started out with my ultrasound. We had the fun one first - the growth scan. She is officially breech and her head is lodged very uncomfortably under my ribcage. At 32 weeks and 3 days she weighs in at 3 lbs. A little small. She is in the 15%. They are looking at 32 weekers to be closer to 4 lbs. She has only gained 10 oz in 4 weeks. The good news is that she has always been in the 15 - 20 % during all of her growth scans. My Dr's words to me were that he would have been concerned but he has met my husband and children - he just thinks that we don't make big babies. He is okay with that - he said the smaller they are the easier they are to deliver! All that joking aside - with an possibility that she could make her entrance into the world sooner rather than later, I would like her to be a bit bigger. We will be doing weekly growth scans to make sure that she is continuing to grow at the right rate. If there is any question - they will take her. My Dr says that there is nothing that I can do to help her gain weight - and is not concerned with my lack of weight gain. He said that this is what most woman dream of during pregnancy. He said that she is completely healthy and there is nothing to worry about. He is the Dr and has seen more babies/moms than I have been pregnant with - right? I should just trust him - right?

Okay then on to the not so fun cervical u/s. The good news is that everything is holding strong at 2 cm. I am dilated but it is something to be expected at this stage in the game. Her being breech is most likely a good thing and the reason that I am still pregnant. I just really hope that she does turn within the next 4 weeks!!! I was then stuck on the monitor for the NST. It was quick and easy - I did have a few contractions but nothing to worry about. She looks great on the monitor. After all of that fun stuff - I then saw the Dr. It was really quick. He said that he isn't in the office for the next two weeks so at the beginning of April we will really start to hammer out the details for the end. He would like to deliver me at 37 weeks. It really works out great too because that is the week that he is on call at the hospital. That is pretty amazing because he is only on call once every 2 months! I just hope that her lungs are ready by then! I did also reiterate the point that is she doesn't turn and a c-sec had to happen I would need to be highly drugged. :) He said not to worry about it - it would all be fine.

Well that was about it for my appointment. Things are moving along rather well. It is amazing that I am still pregnant - and I think that we just might make it to 37 weeks!!! Right on!

If you actually read all of this - kuddos to you!

My son eats wood AND goes to the ER all in the same day

2008-03-07T19:32:00.003-06:00

Friday, March 7, 2008.
Who would of thought that something this cute could do this much damage?

So I went to go and get the brothers up from their nap this afternoon and found that Aidan had taken a chunk out of his crib and ate it. Why would I think that he ate it? Because the amount of wood splinters on the floor were no where near adding up to the amount of wood that was missing. He was happy so I didn't think anything of it. I took them downstairs and starting changing butts. I had just finished changing Aidan and was starting to change Isaac when Aidan proceeded to puke up wood and blood. Lovely. I cleaned it up - in my best "trying not to freak" mentality and called his pediatrician. While waiting for her to call me back - I called David at work to tell him what was going on. He was way busy and there was no way that he could leave at that point. The Ped beeped in - she said to head straight to the ER of one of the children's hospitals in St. Louis. He could have aspirated some wood or because of the blood he could have some stuck somewhere. I then lost it and started crying. Aidan is normally a fireball, but now he is just sitting on my lap and will not let me put him down. I called David to tell him what we need to do - He said that he doesn't think that we need to do that - and that he has no way of leaving work to take him. He thinks that we just need to watch him and see how he does - if he gets worse we can take him in when he gets off work. I don't have a car - so I really couldn't argue with him. Well not 2 minutes after I hung up from David - Aidan pukes again - more blood and more wood. I called David and told him that he would be coming home from work right now or I was calling 911. At that point Sherri called us (she is the awesome woman that is arranging all of our childcare) I pretty much lost it on the phone. She was at my house in 2 minutes. She brought her daughters and her niece too. We then ended up deciding that Sherri would take me and Aidan to the ER and the other girls would stay and watch the other boys. So Sherri, Aidan, Cori (her oldest), and I all head to the ER.

When we got there they checked him over for signs of distress. He had a little bit of tenderness in his tummy but that was really it. Found out that wood doesn't show up on an x-ray so that was out of the question. We just needed to wait and see. We were there for close to 3 hours and he ate a Popsicle. The Dr. seemed to think that he threw up all of the wood that he ate and
there was really nothing more that we could do. The stomach acid will help to soften - not break down - any remaining wood and he should pass it normally. We were told to watch him for the next couple of days and then bring him back if he starts showing any signs of distress.

So now we are left with the question - How do we keep him from eating his crib??
Just in case you are wondering - yes I do feed my kids 3 meals a day and proper snacks :)

7th Trip to L&D - March 5th

2008-03-05T18:56:00.000-06:00

Oh joy! Another trip to Labor and Delivery. I distinctly remember telling David that we would not be making this trip again unless my water broke or I had a baby sticking out of me. I am just getting so sick of this! I thought that the terb pump would totally stop these contractions and allow me to make it to the end with no more speed bumps.

I should go back and say that during the weekend I started having some cramping. I wasn't to worried about it because I wasn't having any contractions with it. Then Sunday night came and I started to get a really intense lower back ache. I just thought that maybe I had a bad day in bed and that is why my back is hurting. So now we fast forward to Monday morning. I did my normal hour monitoring and called it in. About 20 minutes later my Matria nurse called me to give me the results of the strip. I had a few contractions. She asked about cramping and backache. I told her that it was getting pretty bad. She had me give myself a demand dose of terb and then we upped my doses that I get hourly and also moved my boluses from every 4 hours to every 3. I told her that I had a Dr's appointment later in the day and she told me to let him know what was going on.

At the Dr's appointment I told him about the cramping and back pain. His words were "I'll be concerned if you want me to be. But if not then I think that we should just see if we can get another week out of you." I think that at this point I was okay with that. I was just checked the week before and was still closed and 50% effaced. The cervix that I had left was firm. Now I wish I would of had him check me out then. I left the office with an appointment in 10 days.

Fast Forward now to Wednesday. I woke up with some pretty strong contractions. I told David this and his words to me were, "Its my day off and I am not going anywhere." Well after monitoring we discovered that I was contracting regularly - every 8 minutes. My Matria nurse had me do a demand dose and then monitor an hour after that. Another demand dose and another hour monitor. At that point she told me that she has done all that she is able to so I needed to call my Dr and then most likely a trip either into the Dr's office OR L&D.

Off to L&D we go. I packed my bag, I fully was not expecting to come home from this one. We arrived and was given a bed and hooked up to the monitor. Contractions were regular. Because I was already getting the terb - they really did nothing. I had a Dr. check me and we then found out that I am 1 to 2 cm dilated, and my cervix was really soft. The plan was to wait an hour and then check me again to see if I had any change. An hour passed and I was checked again - no change, still 1 to 2 and soft. I got an fFN test and that came back negative but because I was contracting regularly they weren't going to let me go yet. Well after 3 bags of IV fluids, my Terb and procardia my contractions settled down and I was able to go home. I was asked to be checked before I was let go just to make sure that nothing had changed :) Still no change.

Here again on the way home we made the declaration that there will be no more trips to L&D unless fluid is gushing from my body or body parts are hanging from me. We will see how long that lasts.......

I am on the pump!!!

2008-02-26T17:17:00.004-06:00

Well I spent about 2 hours with two Matria home health care nurses. They got me all set up on the terb pump. So far I am a little jittery, like getting the shot in the hospital - but I feel good. They said that I should get used to the side effects within a week at the most. I hope so. Along with this I have to hook myself up to a contraction monitor twice a day for an hour at a time. I only have to send the info once a day. The good thing is that anytime I have contractions or just don't feel right I am able to hook myself up and then they can monitar me right then. My threshold is only 4-5 an hour. Kinda low - but then my Dr said that he doesn't want me messing with the contractions just because they are doing so much damage so early now. Here are some pictures of my pump and my site. I have to change my site every 3 to 5 days. I was under the impression that they come out and do it for me BUT NOOOOOOO!!!! I have to stick myself with this needle and do it all myself. It is actually pretty easy. It is a small needle and cath. I just stab myself with the whole thing - it just feels like a poke and then I take out the needle and the cath stays in. I will post pictures the next time I have to do it. I do have to change my medicine in my pump just about every 16 hours. That is a bit of an ordeal but overall really easy. I am constantly getting a slow dose of medicine and then every 4 hours I get a larger dose that takes 12 minutes to give. I am then able to give myself demand doses of the medicine as necessary based on my contractions. That demand dose has to be authorized by a nurse and it is only after I am over my contraction threshold. Lets cross our fingers that this works and keeps me out of the hospital for 7 more weeks!My site on my leg

My leg and my pump.

This is my kit that I change every 3-5 days or if the kids pull it out.

Pictures, Pictures and More Pictures!!!

2008-02-26T08:56:00.003-06:00

Here are some pictures of Ang's and my get together and of course a 30 week picture in there too.

30 weeks!!!

All this and still no weight gain this week!

Brice decided to rebel and not wear clothes. Remind me not to eat at that spot at the table.....

This is a letter that Brandon wrote to one of his friends

Ang and the twins!

When you change your view.....

2008-02-18T15:02:00.003-06:00

So far I have been on bedrest exactly 10 weeks. It is hard to imagine that I have been "taking it easy" for that long. I think that I have been able to come full circle in my thinking about this whole bedrest issue. At first, I was truly scared to death of even the thought of losing this baby. Once I made it to 24 weeks my thoughts went to the fact that she now has a fighting chance at life. Now just 1 week shy of 30 weeks, I am determined to keep this little one in the oven as long as possible so I don't even have to spend one day away from her. I want to be able to have a normal delivery (normal - what is that?) and spend the time in the hospital bonding with my daughter. Not looking at her through a isolette and seeing her struggle for life. That has kept me going this far. There is no doubt in my mind that there are some great things in store for my children!

I have also been able to see just how much is not getting done at my house. I was walking up the stairs the other day and needed to sit down 1/2 way through (fairly common). Well while I was sitting there I realized that the wall is SOO dirty. I would have continued to pass by that spot forever if I did not need to sit down at that point. Since the stairs are right off of our kitchen and there is a little ledge between the stairs and the small hallway leading to our living room. As you can see here there are so many things on that ledge.
Well on more than one occasion has there been the most unfortunate Pepsi, Route 44 Cherry LimeAid, coffee, juice, even bowl of oatmeal (don't ask) that has been knocked off of the ledge and down the stairs! David has done a ok job with cleaning up the stairs - I mean how easy is it to clean up Pepsi or Oatmeal even from 13 carpeted steps? Unfortunately the wall has been greatly neglected. Which I saw when I sat down. That wall needs some tender lov'n care. Oh the things that I will do once I am able to get up and around again! I am making my list as I type!

As much as this sucks, there have been some really great things that have come out of me being on bedrest. If noticing oatmeal stuck to my wall can be called a great thing. I have been able to take a step back and look at the things that really matter. The things that are important in life. Sometimes we really need to take a time out on the stairs to see what is on the wall.

28 weeks, insulin, small baby and a teary goodbye

2008-02-12T12:08:00.002-06:00

It has been forever since my last post - I apologize. I think that many things are to blame, of course none of them are my flat out laziness. I guess that I will first start with an update of my latest Doctors appointment.

The wonderful news is that I have made it to 28 weeks! I now officially look pregnant in all of my clothes that I wear. My baby bump can no longer be confused with just another "roll". I have now been on bed rest longer than I will need to be! I had my 28 week Dr. visit this week and saw another new Dr. It was a little hard at the beginning because he kept referring to our little one as "the twins" or "they". I had to correct him a few times so it brought up some feelings that I thought I had already gotten over. I guess that no matter how or when it happens the loss of a baby in-utero is always hard and mourned. On to some good news - last week I was taken off of the insulin that I was on and yesterday I was told that I only need to check my sugar twice a day! My fingers bowed to the Dr. Because I am wanting to deliver VBAC, this Dr says that it is best to go into labor naturally when my body is ready. I guess that it is now that I am dealing with the fact that if I just say that I want a c-sec we will have a date and be done with it BUT the fact remains that I want to avoid a c-sec at all costs!

I also had both a growth ultrasound and a cervical length check. You might remember that 4 weeks ago my Dr expresses concern over the growth rate of our little ones head. This has had me worried for weeks. Well as we were doing the growth scan she showed us all the moves that she had. She literally flipped twice during the scan - giving the tech a run for her money! This child knows no sleep and is always moving! After many sets of measurements we find that she is measuring 2 weeks behind where I actually am. Just at the boarder of their window of error. My cervical length is still good, but still shrinking. The crappy thing that that means is that these miserable contractions are slowly but surely doing their job - just a little early. The smallest measurement they got was 2.5 with the longest at 3.1. I am also funneling rather pronounced now. At this point my new Dr. STRONGLY suggested that I go on bedrest. Okay I think that I will do that. At this point we got the typed report of the growth scan back and found that she is between the 20th and 30th % for her gestational age. As long as she continues to grow at that rate we are good. As they looked back they see that is where she has been the whole pregnancy so far. With the small head, they think that they just got some screwy measurements last time. They are going to now follow up with another growth scan in 2 more weeks just to make sure that there is nothing funky going on. The Dr. said well at least you won't have to worry about giving birth to a 9 lb baby! He is thinking that if I make it to full term I will have a 5-6 lb baby. I sure hope so - well at least my .....um....... you know ..... hopes so!

Today we said Goodbye to Davids parents - it was hard. We really miss them. Davis mom stocked our freezer with cooked chicken and beef! So thankful! We just need to make some rice or some pasta and the chicken is already cooked and just needs to be thawed and heated! The boys loved spending time with them and when they came downstairs after there nap (David took them to the airport during it) they started looking around for g'ma and pop. Aidan was teary eyed when we said that they went bye-bye. The will be back - after the baby is born and then they will take my Ethan to their house for a while. I am not sure if I am ready for him to go on a long trip and be states away for 3 weeks. My baby is growing up.

I think that is all for now - I will post my 28 week preggo pic and Ethan doing his Impromptu speech for my public speaking class. It is just too cute.

Contractions, Contractions go away....

2008-01-30T17:10:00.000-06:00

So I guess that I am paying for feeling so good the past few days. I have been shaky and having contractions all day long - you know the ones that seem to last forever. I am not having more than my allowed 8 per hour but they are still very annoying. The Dr that I saw on Monday seems to be of the mindset that if you are feeling good then you can get up and around but if you are not then stay down. With our lack of babysitters Mon and Tue I was up a bit more than normal helping David out around the house. I didn't do much - but enough that I am paying for it today.

And of course just when we thought that we were all on the mend - Isaac threw up again last night. He didn't cry and scream so we didn't know it until we got him this morning. Of course that meant that it was all crusted over him and the bed - NASTY STUFF. He has also been oh so fussy today too. I sure hope that it is just a fluke. I think that I have had my fill of sick kids this year. I am ready for the spring/summer!

We decided to go for a drive or do something yesterday that would get everyone out of the house. In the past month the boys have only left the house twice and both of those times were for Dr's visits. We needed to get out of the house!! We just ended up going to WalMart to get some much needed overnight diapers. Don't worry - I used one of those electric carts that go .5 miles per hour. When we went into WalMart it was extremely windy out but rather warm (60+) degrees. We were in WalMart for close to an hour and by the time that we left the store it was still extremely windy but it was 20 degrees out. It literally dropped 40 degrees in less than an hour. And we wonder why our kids are sick. We were in the 70's yesterday and now they are forecasting sub-zero wind chills and 3-6 inches of snow for the next two days.

On Monday night I made a really easy dinner. I think that I found a new dish for pot lucks and many other things. It was soooo easy to put together and everyone ate it. Well everyone except Aidan who is the pickiest kid on the planet and will still only eat baby food. Okay so do you want to know what it is??? I'll tell you. First I got a casserole dish and put a good layer of broccoli on the bottom (either fresh or if you are using frozen thaw it first) then on top of the broccoli put a layer of cooked shredded chicken. To top it off I mixed a can of cheddar cheese soup and broccoli and cheese soup and one can of milk (to make it creamy) and poured it over the chicken. Just add it right on top - I then topped the whole thing off with a good layer of uncooked Stove Top. I baked it (just to warm it through and through) at 350 for about 40 minutes. I then cooked some rice to go with it. It was great. The cheese sauce just melted through the whole dish and it was sooooo good. Let me now if you try it and like it.

I am not sure if I have mentioned it our not but I am also taking my last 3 classes right now! I am so excited at the prospect of being done in just a few weeks. I am taking Human Sexuality, Public Speaking, and Intercultural Communications. There is so much work in those classes but my teachers are aware of my situation and are going to let me work at my pace - I am hoping to finish early. I am just really hoping to finish before I land in the hospital again.

I think that I have now procrastinated long enough and I need to now attempt to complete some school work.

TTFN!

I am offically 26 weeks!!!

2008-01-28T15:14:00.001-06:00

I have decided to finally post a preggo picture of myself. I have gained 1 lb. since my last Dr's visit. So in just 4 more pounds I will make it to my pre-pregnancy weight. All and all my Dr's appointment went well. No change in my cervix - still holding strong at 3.1. I get to lower my insulin to 8 units AM and PM from 10 units - good news but it still means that I have to give myself 2 shots a day. I didn't see my normal Dr, but I did see one of the Dr's that I saw in the hospital. He told me that I could start weaning myself off of my meds to stop contractions. He said to just start with my Procardia - he actually said that I could stop it altogether but I am just going to go down to every 6 hours from every 4. I mean I am still having contractions so I am sure hoping that I won't have more. Lets see, what else? I still am going in every 2 weeks for right now - I get an ultrasound each time - they do a cervical length each week and a growth scan every 4 weeks. Oh this week when the nurse measured my belly I actually measured at 26 weeks. So far I have been 2-3 weeks behind. I guess that I have a baby bump now!.

Well it seems that we are all on our way to getting better. No one has thrown up in 36 hours! I decided to be proactive and combat my nausea sympathy feelings with my Compazine prescription. So far it has worked. Heres to hoping that it stays that way.

Well that is it for now. I am needing to take a much needed nap, and then try to scramble something together for dinner. Until later...

I guess its just going to be like that

2008-01-27T11:08:00.000-06:00

Okay well since my last post - Aidan in fact did get sick and was up with David from about 3:30am to 5am. Then they all went to sleep and just when we thought that we might get some sleep - David started to puke!!!

So now everyone except me has got this stomach bug. Other than a headache and extremely low blood sugar I am feeling okay. Lets just pray that I don't get this too.

2 AM and even the cat puked.

2008-01-27T02:43:00.000-06:00

So why is it that when kids get sick it is always at 2 in the morning??? So this morning we were awoken by the sounds of one of the brothers coughing on the baby monitor. I told David that it didn't sound like just a cough - but it sounded like he just puked. Well sure enough it was Isaac and he had puked everywhere. I went and got a screaming Aidan while David cleaned up Isaac. Just what we need another sick kid. Isaac continued to puke as David was cleaning him up and changing his sheets. Ethan soon joined me in the big chair with Aidan. Ethan wanted to make sure that Aidan was not sick because he did not want to throw up again. Ethan has not thrown up in 24 hours, but is still running a high fever and not feeling good. He didn't want to eat anything yesterday because he didn't want to throw up again. I am sure some of him stomach ache that he says he has is because he is hungry. So David and Isaac are upstairs and Ethan, Aidan and I are in the living room watching my Tivo'd episode of Wife Swap and Elmo (our cat) comes and joins us. Aidan gets a kick out of petting him. No sooner does Elmo jump on the arm of the chair does he start retching, I push him off the chair just in enough time for him to puke on floor. Lovely!

So now at 3am David is sitting upstairs with Isaac - who is still throwing up, Ethan and Aidan are back in their bed, and I am in mine. I can't afford to get sick. Not like David can either - but who wants to be a bedrested woman throwing up??

I sure hope that this bug runs its course through our family quickly - and if Aidan is going to get sick it is awful of me to ask that he gets sick sooner rather than later? This waiting 24 hours between kids puking isn't all that fun. Let them all be sick at once then we don't have to worry about separating them and keeping contaminated germs away from the well. Some job that we have been doing of that anyway - so far it has just postponed the inevitable - the kids still puke.

I mean even the cat caught it.

And just when we thought everyone was getting better......

2008-01-25T16:07:00.000-06:00

So this morning and by morning I mean 3am Ethan came down into our room crying saying that he had thrown up in his bed. Well David went up and cleaned everything up, put Ethan back to bed and then came back to bed himself. He turned up the monitor so that we would be able to hear him if he woke up again. Well he ended up throwing up 4 more times through out the morning. UGH!!! The brothers are literally on day 28 of antibiotics and are STILL not getting any better. Now Ethan - Good thing that David was off today - I have no clue what I would do if it was just me and the babysitters here.

Oh and the babysitters. Just a little background - The awesome woman that has arranged all of our childcare runs a Christian School. Well she called me yesterday to let me know that they had to close the school Thursday and Friday because 2/3 of the school were sick!! Out of 60 some students only 20 or so showed up for school Thursday and most of them were sick too! This massive sickness that is going around really needs to stop! The news is now reporting that there have been a bunch of outbreaks of Whooping Cough in the St. Louis and surrounding area. Great just what we need!!!

Oh and sometime between laying in bed and getting up to pee and laying in bed, I have managed to pinch a nerve in my lower back! I can't even go up or down my stairs without crying. This just sucks!!!!!

Okay I am done complaining for today. I just have to look on the positive side - in 2 more days I will officially be 26 weeks!!

The perfect pregnant woman

2008-01-24T20:03:00.000-06:00

As I am laying here in bed (story of my life) watching The Celebrity Apprentice I am dreading the fact that in 20 minutes I have to stick myself with a needle for the 6th time today. I just figured out that in the 10 days that I have been home from the hospital I have stuck myself more than 80 times. David has stuck me 3 times. Needleless to say I am sick of needles!!!

My Dr's have started me on this new wonder drug 17P, it is basically hormones that are supposed to help calm your uterus. Well I get the shot weekly. My pharmacy sent the shots directly to our house. We can drive down to our Dr's office for them to give me this shot - but it is a 45 minute drive there and back. Not going to do it for a 30 second shot in the butt. So then our other options are to find a nurse that can come to our house and give me this shot or just let David do it. That was going to be our plan - David. Then he saw the size of the needles that he needed to use. Compared to the size of my insulin needles these needles are giants!!!!

I spent all day Tuesday calling different places to see where I could go to have someone give me this shot. I called the Dr that is supposed to be my PCP but since I have never seen him, I can't go there for a stupid shot. Oh and it would take me 4 - 6 weeks to get into the office and become an established patient. I ended up calling a local Clinic and they said that they would do it no problem - they were busy at the time but called me back when they were ready for me. David drove me to the the Clinic and waited with me. After paying the "injection" charge and waiting for close to 30 minutes we get in to see the Nurse Practitioner and she tells me that they are not supposed to treat pregnant women at all - not even a shot in the butt!!!! At that point it was close to 7pm and I was already a day behind in getting this shot. We ask her if she can just talk David through giving me the shot. She did and after him playing dart practice on my butt - I have now deemed him worthy of giving me this weekly shot!! I just have to say that it hurts like HECK - not at first but about 3 hours later it hurt like HECK.

So I guess that I will end this rambling with a funny story. I was in the orthodontist's office on Tuesday standing at the counter waiting to get my next appointment when one of the employees came up to me and exclaimed "Oh My Gosh - You had your baby!!!!" I looked at her and said "No..... I am only 25 weeks. I still have a while to go." She then went on to say that I must have lost lots of weight or something because I really looked good and in her words "The perfect pregnant woman."

Now if I only felt the the perfect pregnant woman................

I guess I tagged myself........

2008-01-23T23:03:00.000-06:00

Even though I was not officially tagged I tagged myself so that I could have something to add to this blog that I was **forced** to start. Sorry Shar - I gave into blog peer pressure.......

TAG!

A. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
B. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

5 things I Was Doing 10 Years Ago:
Gee that was 1998 right?????
1. Buying my first car all by myself
2. Moving out of my parents house
3. Working as a Loan Processor for a Time Share Resort
4. Tutoring a girl in Math for 20 bucks an hour
5. Starting to find myself

5 Things On My To-Do List Today:
1. Lay on left side
2. Prick my finger to check my blood sugar 6 times
3. Pee at least 6549879876854687 times
4. Lay on right side
5. Miss my kids

Snacks I Enjoy:
1. Bell Peppers
2. Avocado
3. Danish Butter Cookies
4. Peanut Butter Cups (frozen of course)
5. Pepsi - although I now have to like Diet Pepsi - Damn this Gestational Diabetes!!!

Things I Would Do if (ahem, when) I Were a Billionaire:
1. Pay off all of the bills of all my fellow twin moms
2. Build my dream house
3. Hire a house staff (cook, housekeeper, nanny - The Supper Nanny to be exact, personal driver)
4. Get my PhD
5. Fully fund our church

Bad habits
1. Cuss in my head
2. Get sucked in by the TV too many times
3. I am the worst procrastinator
4. My Nintendo DS - I am addicted
5. Thinking I am perfect, obviously, since I can think of any really bad habits that I have

5 Places I've lived
1. Culver City, CA
2. Lake Havasu City, AZ
3. Phoenix, AZ
4. Harleysville, PA
5. Las Vegas, NV
6. Alton, IL

5 Jobs I've Had
1. Mother
2. Loan Processor
3. Director of Administration for a Time Share Resort
4. Dairy Queen Ice Cream Girl
5. Purchaser

5 Things People Probably Don't Know About Me:
1. Love reality TV
2. It is hard for me to pick up the phone to call someone - if they call I love to talk it is just hard for me to pick up the phone
3. I hate shopping (grocery, clothes, Christmas, all of it)
4. I want to be a research author
5. I don't do laundry - David does :)

Good-bye 2007 - Here's to an Awesome 2008!!!!!

2008-01-01T23:00:00.001-06:00

Wow it is amazing how far we have come. We are now living in Illinois and love it. I do have to say that it is a little bittersweet though - we really miss all of our friends in Vegas. It is good to know that this is where God has placed us though for this season in our life. Right before we moved (3 weeks actually) I found out that I was pregnant again! It was a total shocker and had us reeling for a bit. We were able to have an ultrasound the day that we drove out of town to start our move halfway across the country. The tech didn't really talk much so we really didn't get much info other than everything was going good. The next day, while we were in Utah, my Dr. called me with the results and said that from what the tech saw it looked liked twins again! Wow it took me a while to wrap my head around that. Because I was diagnosed with Epilepsy earlier in 2007, that made this pregnancy High Risk so as soon as we got settled I needed to get set up with a Dr here.

Just about 3 weeks later I got in to see a new Dr and had an Ultrasound. It was during that Ultrasound that they confirmed that it was a twin pregnancy but unfortunately we lost one. The good news was the one that we still have is doing good and thriving. We have since found out that after 3 boys we are having a GIRL!!! AnnaGrace is due to make her entrance into the work May 5th (our 7th wedding anniversary). Just about 3 weeks ago I started having contractions and was concerned that we were dealing with Pre-Term labor again. I called my Dr and went in and he discovered that my cervix was starting to shorten. He started me on Medicine to help stop contractions.

Long story short, 2 weeks, 2 hospital visits, 3 ultrasounds, husband mandated bed rest, gallons of water and LOTS of prayers later - bed rest is working and keeping things where they should be. We are getting some help for me during the day so that I don't have to worry about going up and down the stairs or lifting the boys much. Our church has been awesome with support and helping out when we need it.

The medicine that I am on really kicks my butt and gives me the shakes and makes it hard for me to sleep at night BUT it is doing its job and keeping the contractions at bay.

Ward and Debbie were here for Christmas and New Years and they left yesterday morning, we are very sad to see them go. They blessed us greatly and were sooo much help to me. It was really good to see them and get to spend some time with them. We really need to pray that their house sells so that they can move here NOW!!! They spent time looking at places that they could buy here and I think that some of are really awesome!

The boys are all doing so good and getting so big. Right now they all have coughs and snot and are not feeling that well. We are praying for quick recoveries!!

I think that is about it.

Here's to a GREAT 2008!!!