Today I am a better mother

I have been a mom of 4 for just about 3 weeks now. In these 3 short weeks, I have realized a ton of different things. First being that I have awesome kids! I need to make sure that I always keep that thought first and foremost in my mind because let me tell you not all the time do the behave like awesome kids! Brining Mayah home has really brought out the, um **best**, in my boys. Lets see in the past week, Isaac has learned to and perfected the art of hair pulling. Now maybe it is because Aidan's hair is just so dang long - or he actually realized that pulling Aidan's hair is a easy and quick way to get his attention and then distract him long enough to steal what ever toy he is currently playing with. The brothers now need to be closely watched when going up or down the stairs. Aidan is now really walking up and down the stairs - no longer sitting and scooting down or crawling up. Big WAY TO GO. BUT they now understand that they can push each other down the stairs. So far it has just happened at the bottom of the stairs so the pushed brother has only fallen down 3 or 4 stairs. This is because I have caught either brother many times at the top of the stars getting ready to lung into the other one. Nice. So this has brought me to the realization that my cute, sweet, innocent boys are out for blood! They have perfected the art of stealing toys from each other, pushing each other down, hitting, strangling, pushing each other off the couch, throwing toys at each other, hitting each other with toys, doing things to each other that I never would have imagined kids that young would do to each other - but then again they are BOYS!

I have also realized that I could possibly "raise my voice" more than is necessary. There are times that I have "raised my voice" and then noticed that my windows are all open and hoped that none of my neighbors had their windows open, or even the people driving down the road had their windows down and heard my moment of weakness. Okay in the spirit of full disclosure here - I have had quite a few of these moments of weakness - each hour it seems.

I also realize that our children learn from us how to deal with situations in life. So if they are doing something that I don't like - if I yell - um "raise my voice" at them I am teaching them that when something happens to them that they don't like they get to yell and be angry. We have noticed so many times - our exact words or even our exact attitudes - coming back at us through the mouth of Ethan - and guess what - we don't like it. In fact we tend to punish him for those things. Why? Its not his fault that we have taught him what was "acceptable" behavior. We have to remember that "Do as I say, not as I do" never is successful. I will be calling Suppernanny in 5 years if we continue down this path and I have 4 mouths reciting the very things that I tell them, in the very same manner. Jo will then tell me that I brought this all upon myself.

Why don't we just turn the tables now? Change the course of our legacy, starting today? Well yesterday. Yesterday I made a conscious effort not to "raise my voice" at all. When one of the brothers hit the other - I just made sure that the one hit was okay and told the one that hit that hitting was not okay. There were no loud "NO'S" or "ABSOLUTELY NOT'S" just me focusing their attention in another direction. By the end of the day there were less fights, toy stealings, couch pushings and hair pullings. That was a big sigh of relief. Do you want to know what else there was less of - strife. I actually was not worn out at the end of the day. I actually liked my kids at the end of the day! The house just felt different.

Now it was a decision that I had to make each time I saw one bully the other - but it was a decision that was so totally worth it. It also took less effort than yelling - um "raising my voice" - at my kids. I think that I can survive being a stay at home mom of 4!! Can I also just remind everyone still reading - 3 of them under the age of 2!

I can do this. Not only am I bettering myself, but I am teaching my children that there are other ways of dealing with issues than getting angry and "raising voices". Today I am a better mother.