Friday, April 11, 2008

Just how do you spell D-O-N-E???

It is 5 am and I am sitting here in my sons bedroom looking out his window throughly enjoying the fact that I am not looking at a 12 foot block wall that was placed there to keep out the traffic noise from the I15 Freeway.

I took my Ambien at midnight, but as it seems the other pills that I take have pulled rank with the Ambien. A battle that I am at the moment suffering because of. Some wonder if this could be the start of actual labor. Of course it can not - you see I am no longer hooked up the the terb pump - I no longer have a nurse tell me twice a day that the feelings that I KNOW are contractions are nothing more than Uterine Irritably. So you see that there is now way that my body can actually be preparing itself for labor on its own. Our could it? You see nothing has been normal this whole pregnancy so of course why does this which could just be normal - fell like something totally different??

I have entered the world where I look at awe and wonder to those women who are able to carry a full nine months with out even blinking an eye. Those women who seemingly have the prefect pregnancies. At first I was angry - I wanted to share my misery with those pregnant ones around me.I would enter a store and get the knowing smile and nod with "when are you due?" question - my response "not soon enough". Please don't get me wrong - I am and have always been fascinated by the womans body being able to sustain a life that starts as no bigger than a head of pin. When I found out that I was pregnant with the twins - as I grew each day to actually think that there are two babies in side of me. WOW The creative power that God is to allow our bodies to sustain life for a precious other that we ultimately get to call our own. To think that as you get closer to full term - the same baby that is in that growing belly will be the same baby that will come out craving to be united with the voices and sounds of the world that she has spent nine months imagining about.

I have come to the conclusion that no matter how you get there
The end result is the same.

Our lives will be forever changed
by one small cry
tiny fingers wrapped tightly around mine
a mouth that will look to my body to once again sustain its life
Forever a part of something that it greater than the original
When a child is born SYNERGY happens
Look out world - HERE SHE COMES!!!!

6 comments:

Brandi said...

If you go into labor...David BETTER call me!!!!!! Love ya girl! I'm so excited for you.

Anonymous said...

You ok Shan? Hope you were able to get some sleep and that you are feeling better in the light of day!
Erin

Tonya Staab said...

Oh honey, not much longer. Hang in there and little bit will be here before you know it. Love you hon.

Jane said...

Can't wait to see little bit! Hang in there, girl. You have done a miraculous job!!!!

debi9kids said...

Shan,
Know that it is just around the bend. You are almost there. Just hang on! Just a little longer...
Love you!
Debi

Jenn H said...

Thinking about you today and keep checking my cell just to make sure! So close but yet it still must feel so far away! Praying for a good night's sleep tonight!